


Fire and Leather

by Kosho



Category: Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: Avvar, Avvar Culture and Customs, Avvar Inquisitor, Avvar Pantheon, Awkward Cullen, Confident Cullen, Confident Cullen Rutherford, Cullen Has Issues, Did Our Duty For Archive And Fandom, Dragon Age Lore, Dragons, Elf/Human Relationship(s), Eventual Fluff, Eventual Relationships, Eventual Romance, Eventual Sex, Eventual Smut, F/M, Family, Family Drama, Inquisitor Backstory, Inquisitor Sided with Mages, Journey to Skyhold, Mages (Dragon Age), Mages and Templars, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Red Templars, Rules, Sided with Mages, Skyhold, Skyhold Decor, Solas Being Solas, Tags Are Fun, Tags Are Hard, Tags May Change, Templars, Templars (Dragon Age), Vivienne (Dragon Age) is a Bitch
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-05-23
Updated: 2017-06-25
Packaged: 2018-06-10 08:17:46
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 22
Words: 31,122
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6947239
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kosho/pseuds/Kosho
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The adventures of the Inquisitor and her companions. </p><p>Avvar Elf Mage Inquisitor~</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Herald

**Author's Note:**

> I'm not clever with titles.

Her head ached in a way she couldn’t recall feeling before, enough to rouse her to consciousness. Red eyes were drawn to her hand immediately, a strange glow to it that pulsed erratically, painful in its own way. Her hands were trapped by rope, further secured by metal shackles, though the memory of how she came to be here was gone. A woman burst into the room, another just a step behind, a human woman, dark haired and angry grabbed her hand, shouting about the conclave being destroyed, about how she was the only survivor, nothing that meant anything to her. She tipped her head to the side, an amused smile on her face as she watched silently. Shoving her hand back down, the woman glared at her, waiting to hear an explanation of what the mark on her hand was.

“You really think I know what this is or how it got there? You give me too much credit.” She said.

About to recline, the woman pulled her up, unlocking the cuffs, all but dragging her out the door before the pain in her hand brought her to her knees again. She wouldn’t cry out, none would get that satisfaction from her, but damn did it hurt.

“That mark is spreading; it will eventually kill you. If you don’t help us, the Breach will kill us.” She stated.

Drawing her focus to her hand, she sighed, hanging her head. Not much of a choice there, if she didn’t everyone she cared for would die as well, and that was hardly desirable. She held out her hands, lofting a brow questioningly, and the woman cut her free. Not that she couldn’t just use magic, but it wouldn’t have been difficult to disarm the woman and escape, but that wouldn’t last long with the hole in the sky. A short way down the road, they were stopped by demons, though no move was made to assist her captor in fighting, she could have, but why not see what kind of fight she could put up. The answer was a good one, both going down quickly and easily, best to follow and take a more presentable opportunity to make her escape. The trail led them to more people who were helping clear the path to the temple, an elf and a dwarf, the elf reaching for her hand, her eyes fixed on him. To touch her so familiarly without her permission was a little rude, but at the same time, it seemed to close a small tear in the sky.

* * *

 

Finally allowed to wander the grounds on her own, the first thing she had done was reclaim her own armor. Smoothing out her furs, she stopped by the Commander, watching the training in silence, wondering how they managed anything like this.

“You’re awake. Good to see you on your feet.” Cullen said.

She turned to face him, brows drawn together curiously. “Yes. Oh, right, we met on the mountain before.” She recalled.

He nodded, wondering if she hadn’t remembered their first meeting. It had been a brief interaction, a rare moment of lucidity in her condition.

_She had been in the dungeon, veiled in the shadows, half visible. Not that he had actually bothered to try and catch a glimpse of her, the one detail he had noticed was the color of her hair, barely visible tips of deep red hair, straighter than a pin, and long, ending past her waist. Cullen had pushed the tray through the gap, turning to leave, when she spoke._

_“Not here to kill me then?” she questioned weakly._

_Cullen said nothing, turning back to look again, though she had already lost her consciousness again, limp on the floor._

“That’s right.” He answered.

“Cullen was the name, right?” she asked.

A now familiar grin on her face, she propped her arms behind her head, shifting her weight to one side.

“That’s right. You haven’t told me your name, however.” He told her.

She chuckled, a pleasant sound, contrasting to the fierce appearance she tried to maintain, her face streaked in black and white paint, her eyes the only pop of color to her face, aside from her hair.

“You wish to know my name?” she asked, considering it momentarily. “very well. Elsine is the name I was given.”

He wondered vaguely what the point of wondering about it had been. He had only known her as ‘the prisoner’ or ‘the Herald’ of which he exclusively referred to her as. A name felt too personal, too familiar, at least to him, had he called her by name, who could say what might happen. There had to be some kind of penalty for getting too close to her, some kind of harm that might come about for speaking with her.

“That’s an interesting name.” he decided on.

Elsine laughed again, her arms unfolding, crossing her chest loosely. Whether he realized it or not, he appeared to be sizing her up, and fact that amused her. “You find yourself curious about me, do you?”

His eyes fixed on hers, rubbing the back of his neck, unsure what to say. Mostly embarrassed that she had noticed, was it better to admit that he was actually mildly interested in knowing about her, or if he should deny it.

“A little.” He replied.

“Let me guess. My appearance throws you off and you’re wondering what my story is?” she guessed.

Cullen shrugged, gesturing for her to continue. He hadn’t spoken to her much before, it seemed improper to actually ask for her story like that.

“Another time, Commander. I’ve got business to see to, maybe I’ll tell you after.” She said.

Frowning, Cullen watched her leave, left in disbelief that she had fooled him like that. In truth, Leliana had managed to dig up just enough about her, enough to say that she was from a nearby Avvar settlement, one that had recently moved in, her spies reported. Where she had been, or what she had been doing was unsure, and it hadn’t been quite so urgent, meaning there had been no need to try to approach them. Elsine had thus far divulged nothing about herself save for her name, and he wasn’t planning on sharing it. She would eventually warm up and might even be willing to tell them herself.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I jumped the gun on posting this chapter, so I might not keep it. At least in my head, she's sort of open about herself, but not about specifics, I also like to think she kind of has a way of getting into people's heads at times.

In the war room, they had gathered while the Herald had worked her way through the Hinterlands. Mother Giselle had made it safely to Skyhold, but Elsine had failed to return with her. Not entirely a surprise, she had chosen to set out with only Varric and Solas, something about not trusting the Seeker for a reason. It had the feeling of something else entirely. For that reason, Cassandra, Josephine, Leliana and Cullen had all gathered in the room to share general observations, what little they might have dug up on her.

“My spies have reported nothing unusual, so that aside, what can we learn from watching her?” Leliana asked.

“The girl avoids the Chantry when she can, has this uneasy look about her when she walks in.” Cassandra offered.

“She’s clearly spirited. I noticed a scattering of traps outside the gates.” Cullen said with a shrug.

“You’re going about this the wrong way.” Josephine shook her head, holding up a small stack of papers. “I’ve learned a fair bit. All I did was ask…and…perhaps I offered her something in return.”

“What did you offer?” Cullen wondered.

Elsine had possibly verged on telling him about herself, and that she would instead open up to the Ambassador, for some small trinket actually stung a little.

“I offered to have some new fur sent in from Orlais. She expressed interest in making some adjustments to her armor.” She answered.

“Well? Are you going to tell us what she told you?” Leliana probed.

The spymaster seemed equally bothered that she had managed to acquire information which even she hadn’t been privy to.

“Says she grew up all around Ferelden. Says her family recently took root in a hold nearby, then…” she sighed. “Elsine expressed an interest in going out ...” Josephine paused, sighing to herself. “She says that Cassandra had to stay because she…shouts too much, and would…scare away her prey.”

Cassandra crossed her arms, prepared to protest the accusation until she noticed the look Leliana directed to her. “It’s not true.” She argued.

A figure poked through the door, voice lowered to a manageable whisper, nodding out to the yard. “Excuse me. The Herald has returned from the Hinterlands. Thought you’d like to know, she’s almost to the gate.” He said, leaving as quickly as he had arrived.

There were pages of notes scattered on the table, strewn between weighted markers on the map, a sudden look of panic spreading on the Seeker’s face. “Cullen, keep her busy. She might realize what we’re up to if she sees these reports, keep her out of here for a few minutes…” she said.

He sighed to himself, wondering why he should have to be the one to go. He had enough to do, and now this? What exactly was he going to say to her? More importantly, what if he _couldn’t_ keep her attention for that window of time.

“What do you suggest I do?” he grunted.

“Whatever it takes, it hardly matters, just get out there!” she hissed.

The leather of his glove creaked as he hurriedly swept it through his hair, taking a slow, deep breath. He quickly strode out the door, just in time to catch her walking up the path. Offering a rushed prayer for strength, he closed his eyes, purposely walking into her, though he played it off like he hadn’t been watching where he was going, a complete accident.

“I…I’m so sorry Herald.” He apologized.

Her eyes softened a little, her hand reaching for his arm to steady him. “Don’t worry about it. No harm done.”

Moving past him, she headed for the door. Cursing under his breath, he reached out, snagging her arm, bracing for whatever she might do in retaliation. Elsine whipped around, her hair falling to rest in exactly the same way, as though it were fixed into place by wishing hard enough. Her head tipped to the side, prepared to say something, though her words failed her, instead, exhaling slowly, red eyes appraising him in silence. What she was looking for, he couldn’t say, after all, he was hardly anyone special, and surely he must seem like anyone else. She would finish her quiet observation and again try to evade him, he was certain of that much.

“Something I can do for you?” she questioned simply.

He had nothing prepared, he had thought she might pull away and continue on, that she wanted to know what he was after left him hopelessly lost as to what to say. Saying the first thing that came to mind, he found himself regretting it the moment it left his mouth.

“H…have a drink with me.” He quickly suggested.

Elsine stood in silence, idly scratching the back of her head in thought, her other hand thoughtfully fondling the hilt of the dagger poised at her hip, hoping she wasn’t prepared to use it on him. Just about to give up on it and apologize again for such an idea, she finally answered.

“You. Want to get a drink with…me?” she asked as though she hadn’t fully understood.

“That’s right. Right now, you’ve only just returned, why not take a break before you set out again?” he repeated the offer.

“Alright. No harm in taking a short rest.” She admitted uneasily.

Cullen hung his head as he walked, unsure what he had just volunteered for. He was fairly certain she was no ordinary elf, though the paint and the armor alone gave away her origins, they did nothing to explain what he could only assume had originally been a Dalish elf, was doing living among the Avvar. Other questions sprang forth unbidden in his mind, Solas had noted she was an apostate, and he found himself curious what an Avvar elf might have learned in the wilderness, did she have a teacher? Did her family know where she was? If so, how long would they stay away? Was invasion a concern? Her hand lightly nudged his shoulder, pulling him from his thoughts. In the time it took to go over roughly one fifth of the questions carefully, she had somehow directed him to a seat _and_ took the liberty of ordering.

“Look a bit lost there. Still trying to figure me out?” she asked, a wide grin on her face. “Ask a girl straight, and a girl might answer.”

He wasn’t fool enough to fall for that trick again. Or was he? Her expression seemed genuine, at least.

_What do you look like under all that paint?_ he thought. _Maker’s breath, why should that matter?”_  

Cullen took a drink in the hopes that the action might somehow still his thoughts, opting instead to remain silent and see if she might instead fall back on a different topic. Leaning across the table, her eyes became thin slits as she took a closer measure of his appearance. It was uncomfortable, and he could feel his heart clear to his throat, surely such a strong pulse was obvious, and for a moment, he felt like prey.

“Your eyes. They remind me of wheat. Of honey still in the jar.” She said. “I bet you taste like honey…”

He cleared his throat, his face flushed at such a brazen statement. “Excuse me?”

She shrugged, leaning back in her seat. “Are you so lacking in praise that I must repeat my observations now?”

Was she in his head? Had she actually said what he thought she did? Was it possible that he had somehow imposed his thoughts on her words? No way was he willing to probe to find out, this was turning out to be more stressful than he imagined a simple drink might be.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm still not sure where I'm at with titles, and I'm not sure this is even a good chapter, but I'm working on it :D

The Herald had done it. Managed to surprise everyone yet again, this time, with one simple sentence. She had been told to head to Val Royeaux, expecting some variety of confused or even angry reaction, instead, she calmly nodded.

“Val Royeaux? Been awhile since I had the chance to go. I should welcome a chance to get out again.” She commented off-handedly.

“I will go with her.” Cassandra stated.

Her words guided more out of concern for the Orlesians, rather than for her. Elsine crossed her arms, a skeptical expression on her face.

“No need. The Dwarf and the Elf will suffice.” Her tone suggesting it was more that she didn’t want her company.

“I’m going. _Someone_ needs to be there to make sure things go smoothly.” She said, reinforcing her words.

She instead gestured to Josephine. “Isn’t she the most useful? She deals with people all the time, and I hardly doubt such a comely lass would frighten others in the way a wild dog does.”

Cassandra looked ready to leap across the table, and might have, had Leliana not gripped her arm as a reminder that they still needed her cooperation. Josephine, on the other hand, stood a little taller at the awkward appraisal, Cullen, slightly hungover from the 'one drink' that somehow turned into a late night debate on whether leather and chainmail could hold off a blade better than heavy armor, a debate that reached no resolution as the Commander fell asleep at the table. Now he struggled to muffle a laugh while simultaneously cradling the side of his head with a quiet groan, equal parts the alcohol and the whispers he heard as he walked back to the Chantry that morning, largely abuzz at the fact that he had all but stumbled out of her room, though those rumors ignored the fact that she had spent her night elsewhere entirely.

The conversation continued awhile, a lot of back and forth that had briefly turned into a verbal list of pros and cons of taking the Seeker with.

“If I must bring her, I will. She had better not slow me down.” She grumbled finally.

Elsine rolled her eyes as she excused herself to make a few preparations. Solas and Varric found her by the gates, thoughtfully perusing the wares laid out for sale. Settling on a sword and a shield, she grimaced, heaving a sigh before she turned to face her companions.

“Spying on a girl is a good way to get hurt.” She said.

“Strange that an apostate would choose a sword over a staff.” Solas observed.

Conflict was the only word to describe the look on her face. An expression that conveyed a struggle of what, if anything, to say in response to that, measuring what might be too much to offer in explanation.

“The Seeker is tagging along. It’s better if I don’t use magic, I should think.” She replied after a time.

“Cassandra already knows you’re a mage, there’s no reason to hide it.” Varric added.

A half-smile, saying volumes where her silence invaded. Simple fireballs would scarcely warrant the batting of an eyelash, there was definitely more to the story than she was willing to let on. There was no surprise in an Avvar with a proficiency with bladed weapons, it was something that had to be frowned upon, blood magic would decidedly ruffle her feathers. Like she had managed to slip into her thoughts, her eyes narrowed curiously, an unusual sound rising in her throat.

“It’s nothing so drastic, only that I’ve come to find Chantry types are bothered by it.” She told him.

In truth, as a mage, he was useful, and his observations could be entertaining, but his commentary had a way of provoking her that she couldn’t quite adjust to as easily as she had managed for other points of frustration. Among her list was the mystifying concoctions they served as dinner, and none but her and on occasion the Dwarf ever sat around the fire, like people hardly noticed it, except to huddle for warmth, in itself strange to her, the cold held no sway over her as it did them. Varric himself was also a source of confusion, a weapon with a name was fine, but that he held onto it so tightly, as if concerned he might lose it, and he wasn’t the only one, humans who desperately clung to family mementos like they were valuable treasures worth hoarding were all over Haven as well. A weapon was an easy thing to find, and in her case, her whole body was a weapon of sorts, no need to obsess over losing it. The thing that had gotten to her the most was being referred to as the ‘Herald of Andraste’, as though playing messenger to someone long dead should be meaningful. Eventually, Cassandra made her way down the path to join them, and without missing a step, Elsine began to walk away.

“You’re already slowing me down, Seeker. At this rate, Val Royeaux will take far longer to reach than it would if I simply went alone.” She lectured sharply.

“How would you do that, grow wings and fly there?” Cassandra countered irritably.

“Yes.” She said simply, a slight chuckle following.

Quickly dismissed as a poor attempt at humor, she shrugged it off, her heavy steps emphasizing her displeasure. Cassandra, still steaming over the dog comment decided to try and find some manner of weakness she could draw on to rein her in a little.

“Aren’t you Ferelden? Doesn’t that make you more of a dog than I?” she prodded.

“Perhaps I am, and yet my bite will always be worse than my bark. Can you say the same?” she answered coolly.

Almost muted snickering broke out behind her, though it ceased with the look she shot them with.

“I think you’ve met your match, Seeker.” Varric said decisively.

The truth was less that she disliked the woman and more that it was easy to get a reaction from her, and those reactions were interesting to her. In her life, so few people she had encountered were so simple to read and poke at in just the right way. The problem with the Inquisition was obvious, there were many people contributing, and no one truly in charge of running things. In her world, they had only to turn to the Thane for guidance, here, getting an answer was a challenge, no one seemed to agree on anything, big or small, and it would continue to be so until they got together to decide who would be the one to take control.


	4. On To Orlais

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If anyone is interested in being my beta for this series, that'd be pretty cool...

After the confrontation with the Chantry women in Val Royeaux, Cassandra had to concede that perhaps she wasn’t as needed as possible. To her great surprise, she had proven more than capable of being civil, verging very nearly on diplomatic, though where anyone picked up a trait like that among wild folk in the middle of nowhere, she couldn’t begin to imagine. Elsine was eager to look around, though she paused when someone called her name, her attention drawn to a small merchant stand.

“Belle. You look well these days, how is business?” she asked.

“It’s been steady, though it could always be better. Heard they’re calling you the Herald of Andraste now. How is that sitting with you?” she answered pleasantly.

“Suppose that doesn’t matter as long as I get things done.” She sighed in reply.

“That reminds me. I’d like to help, you’ll need a line of supply, and I have food connections among other things.” Belle told her.

Her eyes lit up at this. “Actual food is hard to come by. Go to Haven, I’ll speak with you there, I have a few things I’m in need of.”

They continued to speak for a time before she finally rejoined the others. Varric scratched his chin in thought, realizing the others were fairly unsure of what to say to that.

“So you really do know people here.” He commented.

“I did say I’d been here before.” She said, leaving it at that.

Her decisions on what to say were all based out of loyalty to her family, and while she couldn’t recall ever being told explicitly that she couldn’t discuss certain subjects, there was no need to incite lowlanders to poke around the Frostbacks to seek them out. She was pretty much stuck here, a fact which she accepted willingly, but that carried with it no reason to get too friendly with anyone. They walked along the path, halting when an arrow had landed just in front of them, Elsine kneeling to pick it up.

“Looks like someone wants my attention.” She said after a bit.

Cassandra pointed to a man looking in their direction. “More than one someone, it appears.”

Wrinkling her nose, she approached cautiously, the robes alone were off-putting, emblazoned with some meaningless insignia, the garish colors useless for anything but standing out like a bloody target. He presented her with an invitation, which she quickly perused, before sighing in disgust. The name alone invoked overtones of self-importance, and the mental image of someone in fine silks that would guard from nothing sprang to mind. Her advisors, however, had impressed upon her the need to recruit where they could, and for that reason alone, she decided to attend both of these gatherings, no matter who happened to be on the other side of them.

“So, two mysterious invitations, which one are you set on first?” Varric asked, trying to make small talk.

“The arrow.” She answered with a small shrug.

They were waylaid once more at the gate, this time by the Grand Enchanter. The first words from her mouth questioning whether or not she should look to her fellow mages for aid with the Breach.

“I’m surprised you think we have much in common. By the standards here, I am an apostate through and through, what could I have in common with a mousy circle mage?” she questioned, almost playfully curious to know the answer.

“We might have more in common than you think. At the very least, we’re willing to sit down and discuss it, which, to my understanding is more than the Templars are offering.” She stated.

“I’ll think about it.” Elsine stated, walking past her.

“Are you really going to consider it?” Solas asked.

“I only said I’d think about it. I will do that much.” She said.

She headed out the gate, taking a quick glance at the layout before choosing a direction, as though she were rather familiar with the land and where she had to go, though it was unclear until they arrived if she even knew the way to go. Halting at the gate, she turned her head up, sniffing at the air curiously. Saying nothing, offering no explanation, she quietly reached for her sword, slowly pushing open the gate, cutting out as much noise as she could with her caution. Rounding the corner, there were guards waiting for them. Elsine ducked down to avoid an attack, sneaking closer between the assaults, rising up behind one of the guards, her small hand clenched his throat for leverage, forcing the blade through, taking a few moments to assess the others in her team. Cassandra was no less of a force to be reckoned with when the enemies were human, and Varric had an accuracy with his crossbow that rivaled some of the best archers she had known. Solas, she couldn’t be certain of just how strong he might be, his focus turned to barriers and protective spells.

Proceeding onward, there was a man in a mask, somehow believing he had gained an advantage over them, though if anyone knew who he was, no one said a word about it, a fact which hardly mattered as an arrow tore through him. Elsine scratched her head idly, trying to decide if this had been worth it after all, there seemed to be no point to this meeting, the mastermind coming to stand in front of her, somewhat dismayed that she was an elf.

“I’m no frolicking child of the wildlands.” She huffed indignantly.

“Funny ‘cause you sure look like one.” The girl countered.

Elsine guessed this girl to be a bit older than her, but that bow couldn’t hold up against her if it came to a battle. There was no reason to imagine it might, beyond preparing for anything that might be thrown at her.

“What exactly do you want?” she asked, her brows drawn in confusion.

“You’re her. I mean, you _do_ glow, don’t you? Andraste’s Herald?” she asked, her questions having no pause between them.

“I’m no Herald of anything, lass.” She said.

The girl drew her attention to her hand, the strange glow emanating from it all but confirming it. “You _are_ her.”

There was no reasoning with her, it seemed. “Okay, yes, fine. What do you want?” she repeated.

“I’d like to join.” She said.

“If you insist. Just go to Haven…” she grumbled.

In truth, the girl’s odd nature was a bit much for her, unused to such…exuberant…people. She was so carefree, as if she hardly noticed the world moving all around her, and that was somehow unsettling. Shaking her head, they exited the back gate.

“Let’s just get on with this…whatever this thing is.” She said, rereading the invitation. “I’m beginning to realize why they always kept these visits short.”

“Herald…” Cassandra began, though she was cut off.

“Don’t call me that! I have a name.” she barked.

A disgusted noise, though she gave in to her demands. “Very well. _Elsine._ Are you certain the best idea is to attend something like this?” she questioned.

“I believe you mean ‘Wouldn’t it damage your reputation if you show up to someone’s fancy party dressed in furs and smeared in paint?’ No need to hide what you really mean. Offense is a byproduct of actually caring what people have to say. I am not offended.” She explained.

She ground her teeth in frustration, deciding not to further pursue that particular line of questioning. Everything that came from her mouth had thus far been enough to irritate her, and for someone like her, her tongue was sharper than she anticipated. Cassandra decided to simply hang back with Solas and Varric and let her sink or swim on her own this time, eager to see how she’d react without someone to keep her in line.


	5. The Iron Lady

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rounding out their trip in Orlais, Elsine looks into the invitation she received.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've sat on this chapter for a few days, debating on posting it or not. I thought this might be out of character, but I decided it worked out alright, since at least in my head, she knows very basic ways to conduct herself, enough to get her through a salon like this.

Cassandra halted Solas and Varric at the door, waiting for her to go in before motioning towards the windows. She was thoroughly convinced that it would be a disaster, and the slightly cracked window outside the estate was the perfect way to listen in and watch without directly interfering.

“Let’s wait here. She’ll come running for us soon enough.” She snorted.

“I’m not sure about that. I think she can handle herself just fine.” Varric said.

A man stood to her left with a scroll, unfurled, announcing her presence. “Lady Elsine of Rifthold, representing the Inquisition.”

Strangely, if she was uncomfortable at the bits of information revealed about her, she kept it well in check, proceeding further in.

“I’ll have Leliana look into this place when we get back…It isn’t much, but it’s something to go on…” Cassandra muttered under her breath, more to herself than anything.

Even more peculiar was the way she slightly adjusted the usual way she walked, her steps filled with confidence, as though she had done this many times, though her reaction to the invitation suggested otherwise. Cassandra was sure Josephine had a hand in that, somehow, how else would it have occurred to her that it would make a difference, however small?

“It’s a pleasure to meet you.” A voice behind her said. “Are you here for Madame de Fer?”

Elsine turned slowly, not the quick defensive way she normally defaulted to. “Yes, my invitation came from her.”

The woman next to him spoke up before she had much chance to offer more. “Here, we hear the most fascinating stories about you.”

That almost cocky half-smirk made an appearance, nodding some. “Without knowing what you’ve heard, I can assure you they’re likely true. With some adjustments, I’m sure.”

Another man descended the stairs, an introduction skipped in favor of spewing insults about the Inquisition. Cassandra leaned in a little closer, confident that the insulting way he spoke of it would result in fisticuffs, and it would all end with her begging for help smoothing things over. The accusation that the Inquisition was an excuse to gain power had her seething, though she said nothing.

“I don’t exist to be worthy of your standards.” She said confidently.

“If that’s true, why don’t you step outside?” he asked, reaching for his weapon.

A fight, about to break out in the middle of Duke Bastien’s estate, this was better than she could have asked for. That would surely wipe that ridiculous grin off her face.

Elsine folded her arms across her chest, shifting her weight to her right side, as if the mere suggestion alone had caused a sudden wave of boredom to overcome her. In a flash, he was bound in place by ice, and a woman, as she imagined, dressed in the least protective fineries she had ever seen. The woman spoke quietly, but it was clear to all that the man was being thoroughly reprimanded for his lack of manners, her pace slow, elegant in every step, though that seemed a mere hindrance. The man was quick to beg her forgiveness, addressing her as Madame Vivienne, a confirmation that she was indeed who she had initially assumed her to be. Vivienne turned to face her after a short time, her expression patient, as she posed a question.

“It is you he insulted. What would you prefer I do with him?” she asked.

She knew what would happen were this in the way she was accustomed to. Several ways it could end, most the same with minor differences. Yet she had a feeling that somewhere, someone was watching her intently, waiting for her to prove that she couldn’t handle a small matter like this.

“Let him go. He’s very sorry.” She paused, shooting him a look. “Aren’t you?”

Vivienne thawed him out and he quickly nodded. “Very sorry.” He repeated.

The First Enchanted waved him off, and he stumbled out, shivering violently as he did, before she turned her focus back to the Herald, gesturing for her to follow her somewhere less crowded. Cassandra frowned as she walked off, so far not even one small slip, and now she was getting out of view. About to walk in, Varric grabbed her sleeve, shaking his head.

“Let her be, she’s alright.” He said under his breath.

She was prepared to argue with him, until she noticed Solas also seemed to share the sentiment, turning her back to the building, yanking out a map from her pouch. If there was little enough left to do, she could at least start figuring out where the best place to set up camp for the night would be. A time later, Vivienne walked out of the estate, turning an odd glance in their direction, before proceeding on to a waiting carriage. Elsine followed behind her, arms folded behind her neck.

“She’ll reach Haven before we will. We can make the border by nightfall if we start now.” She said.

“I’ve plotted out a place to camp, Herald.” Cassandra began.

Grunting slightly at the name, she decided to let it go for now. “Avoid the northern border of the Frostbacks. Walk around, or go another way.” She insisted, carrying on after taking a slight breath. “It isn’t safe for you there.”

It didn’t sound like genuine concern for her, or any of their safety, but more of a general observation. Despite that, the look on her face was one of distant focus, like she was recalling something important, that she had forgotten about. Luckily, the spot she had chosen was out of the way, though there was a fair bit of curiosity now. What could be so bad that it wasn’t safe for them?

“Is that actual concern?” she questioned defensively.

“At least for now, we’re allies. I’m not fool enough to lead you into a death trap simply because we’re not swapping sordid tales over drinks. There’s no strategy in letting you die; my feelings have nothing to do with it.” She explained.

She said it that way, and yet Solas noticed a flash in her expression, for the briefest instant, there was something more on her face, but even for him, it was a mystery as to what it was. Elsine had made a fair point, whether she actually liked any of them or not, there was no benefit to it, a statement that seemed to carry with it an implication of protection, though he doubted that would ever be put to words.

“What’s out there?” Varric asked curiously.

“A number of problems. High falls, frigid waters, dangerous creatures. All things that would be best avoided if you’re unfamiliar with the land.” She told him. “Among other things.”


	6. Haven

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Returning to Haven offers no chance for rest again...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I decided to use this as a means to give a little insight into who she is. There's a lot even about herself that she can't answer.

Upon returning to Haven, Cassandra departed for the war room to speak to Leliana in private. Varric wandered off at the gates, and she couldn’t say where Solas went. Elsine made her way to her room, long since redecorated to her tastes. The scattered heap of blankets replaced by a single covering constructed of hastily sewn together furs, most of the meager decorations deposited in a crate by the door. She sunk into the bed and stretched out, closing her eyes, until a gentle knock on the door called her attention. The door opened, and Josephine walked in, holding a fancily packaged box, gesturing to the bed beside her as if asking if she could have a seat. Elsine slid over as far as she could, but didn’t move to sit up.

“Did you need something?” she asked, grinning broadly. “I can’t imagine you’re here for the good company.”

Not answering immediately, she busied herself unwrapping the box, withdrawing a strange looking object. Handing it to her, Elsine reached for it, looking it over curiously, trying to decide what it was. If nothing else, it smelled appealing, but that was about all she could discern from it.

“This is…?” she questioned.

“It’s food, give it a try.” Josephine instructed encouragingly.

She was certain whatever it was, something so small couldn’t count for much of anything. For all she knew, it could be an attempt to poison her, but if that was the case, she certainly would have known, a gift that came with her magic, of sorts. Giving in, she took a small bite, the rest following in the next, surprised at how it tasted.

“You must want something in exchange. Two guarantees in life, Ambassador. Nothing is free and nothing is forever.” She grunted, lazily drawing a leg up, almost like she meant to sit up, but seemed to stop partway.

“I don’t want anything, particularly. If you feel so inclined to tell me a little more about yourself, I might be willing to part with these.” She offered quietly.

Ready to insist she couldn’t be swayed with food, her gaze fell on the box, licking her lips slightly. It was well no one else was around to see this, or it might be perceived as a weakness, something worthy of shame. Turning her attention to the door for a moment, she nodded once, slowly.

“What do you want to know?” she asked.

“Let’s start simple. Where are you from?” she asked in reply.

Elsine said nothing, and gave no indication that she was prepared to say anything at all. Josephine picked out another piece, handing it to her. She waited patiently while she scarfed it down, as though she hadn’t eaten in a while, though she reminded herself, she probably hadn’t.

“Frostbacks. Next question.” She said.

Josephine sighed, shaking her head. It was becoming clear that she wasn’t going to let it go so easily, though she had a suspicious feeling that Cassandra, Solas and Varric had likely overheard, and it would only be a matter of time before it had spread. All in all, it was probably the question that should have been easiest to answer, knowing that the truth would be uncovered likely by the end of the night.

“Rifthold.” She clarified quietly.

Josephine selected another one, giving it to her, and again waiting for her to finish it, allowing her time to think of a question.

“Why are you living among the Avvar, and not with your clan?” she pried.

That was a question that was harder to answer, in fact, the only answer she had was the small snippet she had been told. It wasn’t as though she could remember what happened, her clan was all she knew, if she ever lived among the Dalish, she had no memory of it.

“It was the will of the Lady, that’s all I know.” She said.

Red orbs focused intently on her, eagerly awaiting the next question by this point, though there would be none. Josephine simply smiled, closing the box and retying the ribbon around it, standing up as she headed for the door. Watching her walk away, Elsine sat up quickly, no smile now, only a deeply set frown.

“That’s all for now. We can speak again another time.” She told her.

It was disappointing, but it reminded her that it was getting late. Perhaps enough time for a nap before she would set out to hunt, a task best saved for after most had already gone to sleep. The guards were more than willing to let her out, an oversight she was fine with exploiting. They needed her, required her to be there to close the Breach, a fact that had been impressed upon her from the very beginning, and yet, they did nothing to ensure she wouldn’t run off. Had she so wanted, she could simply walk out and sneak off, and not even the guards would realize until it was far too late to stop her. As it stood, she wouldn’t run, not at least until she had done what she was supposed to, if she left now, there would be no one to welcome her home.

She rolled onto her side, dragging the blanket of furs over herself. Another knock on the door, this time louder, groaning irritably, she once again sat up, a visibly nervous Cullen peering in through the crack before entering, as though concerned about what might be waiting on the other side.

“Couldn’t wait to see me, hm?” she probed teasingly.

His hand swept the back of his neck, a barely visible blush painting his cheeks. How a man like this was the same one who barked orders to soldiers, managed to establish himself as the military authority while still being so easy to fluster was a mystery.

“I…um…there’s some reports that you’re supposed to look over.” He mumbled.

Bringing her hand to rest on her knee, her other hand sparking a she beckoned him closer. “Let’s see them then.”

His eyes fell to her hand, his expression softening just a little, taking as few steps as he needed to lean in and give them to her. Gripping the stack of reports, she grinned, tilting her head to the side, the paint on her face making it a challenge to read her, he could glean nothing about her, if she was mocking him or perhaps if she was being serious, a smile meant nothing when the rest of her face was hidden. She examined the top paper for a moment, noticing he was still there.

“Do you need these back, or are you planning to stay there until I’m done. If so, take a seat, it might be a bit.” She instructed, gesturing to the edge of the bed where Josephine had previously sat.

There were no other places to sit, he realized. Grimacing, he sat on the edge of the bed, obviously tense, anxious, only looking in her direction every so often, and only for an instant at a time.

“I make you nervous.” Elsine observed quietly.

Setting the first sheet aside, she slowly read through the next. In truth, she had no idea why these were important, why she was meant to read through these, but she imagined they must be relevant in some manner.

“I’m not used to being alone with…” he began, his words trailing off.

“With a woman or with a mage?” she asked.

Laying the second sheet down after a time, she leaned back against the wall for support, exhaling slowly. She turned just enough for him to get a glance at her side from a small slit in her mail, just under the fur. Though he quickly looked elsewhere, he couldn’t help but notice a raised scar, small from what he could see. The more he tried not to think about it, the more it embedded itself in his thoughts.

“Mages, I’m accustomed to being around. Not alone, however.” He said, half-answering her question. “How did you get it?”

It had slipped out without him meaning to say it out loud, to give any indication he had noticed it in the first place was horrifying. Elsine calmly set the remaining papers down, facing him finally, and for a moment, she looked so sad, but it vanished quickly enough that he surely had imagined it.

“Do you want another look? I’ll show it to you if you want.” She offered.

That usual playful expression she wore had disappeared, leaving behind a completely serious, almost too serious look. Curiosity had gotten the better of him when he nodded, and he immediately regretted it, though at the very least, he was glad that the door was closed. Elsine arched forward, moving aside the furs, raising the chainmail under it, his heart beating nearly out of his chest, about to urge her to stop, when she halted, just under her breasts, thankfully. A row of lengthy scars crossed her body, from one side to the other, though she had gone no higher, he had a feeling they extended further, likely to her shoulder. The pattern told him they were claw marks, but the creature that could cause marks so long and presumably deep, that could be survived, he couldn’t picture. The only other thing of note he could see were red smears of paint along her stomach, another thing he was trying to put out of his thoughts.

“What happened?” he wondered aloud.

She let the mail fall back into place, silently replacing the rest of her attire. Time dragged by slowly, and finally she shrugged.

“I can’t recall. It’s been there in all of my memories, I’d always assumed I’ve had them for a very long time. Never found out what happened. I’d imagine the one to ask would be the Thane.” She said.

He couldn’t help but smile a little. That was the first time she had ever divulged something quite so personal to him, and a small point of pride that he hadn’t needed to resort to spying on her or bribing her to learn it. Not that he was going to brag about it. The conversation in the tavern came to mind, one statement in particular that she had made, how if he asked her directly, she might answer. Part of him began to wonder what else he could learn about her if he only asked.


	7. A Favor Or Two

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Instead of heading directly for Redcliffe, Elsine is tasked with investigating a matter in the Hinterlands, and invited to the Storm Coast. Preparing to set out on her own for the first time since her arrival, a familiar face surprises her.

Elsine folded her arms, grimacing slightly as she stared at the door to the Chantry. She’d been in there before, and today would surely be no different, and yet, she had no desire to go in. It was no great mystery what the subject matter was, they wanted to try and prod her into going to meet with the mages in Redcliffe. She had ears, it wasn’t as though she hadn’t heard the whispers around camp, there was really no point in listening to what she already knew, and yet if she didn’t, it would be a matter of time before they sought her out and brought her anyway. Huffing out a quick breath, she walked towards the door, shaking her head as she followed the straightforward path to the war room, instantly suspicious when the quiet conversation ceased entirely, and the faces of her advisors became suddenly serious. They had clearly been talking about her and hadn’t expected her to arrive so quickly, but that was to be expected, presumably they wanted to discuss what they had managed to find out about her.

“Excited over the meager scraps I gave you?” she asked, carefully masking her irritation.

Denying it was pointless, she already had figured out what they had been trying to do. Cassandra glanced across the table, her lip curled, a strange sound of disapproval escaping.

“Someone is holding out.” She admitted.

Leliana sighed. “Cassandra, you might at least try not to be so obvious.”

Despite the statement, she gave no hint of trying to cover up what she had let slip. Elsine followed her glare to the Commander, mildly, if pleasantly surprised that he had not betrayed what small information she had confided in him. She suspected, based entirely on the way he acted near her that he would have been the first to give up what he had learned. Perhaps there was more to him than she imagined, a thought she saw best to lock away in the back of her mind. Cullen glanced her way and she looked away, not that she minded if he saw her looking, only that she hadn’t intended to look for quite so long. Josephine was the next to break the tense silence, directing her attention to the map, gesturing to one marker in particular.

“We’ve managed to arrange a meeting in Redcliffe for you. You need only go and listen, we’re not asking you to make any decisions just yet.” She stated.

“I already gathered as much.” She said.

Elsine swept a hand through her hair, deep red twisting and sliding between her fingers, pausing to smooth out a small tangle that had accumulated overnight, distracting herself intentionally for a short time. Guessing they had said what they needed to, Leliana followed her out, her voice low as she asked her to look into a matter for her while she was out.

“I’ll go on one condition.” She told her.

“Which is?” she asked.

“I go alone. I’ll take whoever you wish to meet the mages if I can handle this alone.” She said, an ultimatum of sorts.

Leliana glanced back towards the war room. Perhaps she would be in some trouble for agreeing to it, but she seemed perfectly capable of handling matters alone, and the reports of her meeting with Vivienne had said she was capable of conducting herself with basic manners at the very least. She finally gave in, nodding once “Of course.”

She had a sneaking suspicion she would wait until she had a head start before sending someone to discreetly keep an eye on her, but her spies wouldn’t be able to keep up with her if she was given enough of a head start. No need to worry about anything getting out, only a small matter of preparation to handle and she could leave right away. The moment she stepped outside, an unfamiliar person caught her attention, offering a chance to observe some manner of disruption in the Storm Coast as well. While she had the chance to get out alone, in the time it would take to walk to the Hinterlands, she could easily handle matters there and on the coast twice over, plenty of time to get back before anyone could pinpoint where she was. For the second time since she arrived, she paused at the merchant’s table, looking over the wares to see what she might need for the trip, her weapons left behind in her room.

Elsine’s ears twitched just slightly, the sound of crunching snow behind her alerting her to someone’s presence. Without looking up, a half smile tugged at her lips, shaking her head slightly. It was interesting that he had chosen to seek her out yet again, given how nervous he seemed to be around her.

“Thank you.” She murmured, leaving it at that.

“For what?” he asked

Glancing away for just a moment, a flash of red cast over her shoulder, before she looked away once more. “You could have divulged what you knew, and yet you didn’t. You didn’t even give up my name, did you? That was Josephine’s doing, I imagine.”

“I have no reason to share what you tell me. I don’t believe you pose a danger at present.” He mumbled.

She didn’t need to look to imagine that faint blush across his cheeks again, amused at how easily she could pry such a reaction with so little effort. Curious, he had given no hint as to why he had decided to catch up with her before she left, and yet there had to be a reason, he surely hadn’t shown up to hear her admit to being grateful he had opted to maintain her privacy.

“So, what did you need? Come to sneak a peek at my ‘hindquarters’?” she joked, chuckling quietly to herself.

His lack of a reaction told her she had managed to distract him from what he had thought to say, clearing his throat nervously, a string of embarrassed sounds slipping before he regained his composure enough to answer the question.

“I…no…uh…I just…” he paused, taking a deep breath. “I came to wish you a safe trip.”

She raised an eyebrow at this, spinning around quickly to face him properly. Folding her arms almost protectively across her chest, she shifted her balance to one side, her head cocked as if she had misheard him. It had nothing to do with his words personally, only that it was the first time a lowlander had bothered to show concern for her. She was more than capable of taking care of herself, and yet, it didn’t seem to be a matter of questioning her strength so much as actually wanting her to come back unscathed.

“Really? That’s…unexpected. Thank you.” She finally managed, thrown off by the statement.

He frowned slightly, his hand sweeping the back of his neck nervously, looking away. She sighed, pressing her fingertips to her forehead in thought, this was new to her, and she wasn’t exactly sure if he was expecting anything. She remained silent for so long he was certain he had lost her attention, about to leave when she spoke, quiet, enough to make him wonder if he had heard her correctly.

“I should be back tonight. If you find yourself awake, I’d welcome a bit of company.” She said, unwilling to look at him as she said it.

There were reasons Templars weren’t invited among her people, and though ‘former’ was now in front of it, this was far from a good idea, allowing herself to be near him so much. What she could do wouldn’t remain hidden forever, and he wouldn’t approve, she was sure of it, in a sense, it was like willfully playing with fire, eventually someone would get burned, and it wouldn’t be her. Turning away, she quickly paid for the meager supplies she had chosen, tucking them away safely, taking a few steps towards the gate when he spoke one last time.

“I’ll be here.” He said, his way of accepting her invitation?

She quickly made her escape, pushing through the gate and dashing off, doubling her focus so she wouldn’t accidentally miss any sign of someone watching her, she had to be very careful about where she used her magic out here so as to avoid problems, and Haven had more eyes than she could count.


	8. A Terrible Error

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Returning from her side missions, Elsine and Cullen spend some time together, culminating in a single moment that neither anticipated

It was later than she expected when she landed in the line of trees on the edge of Haven. She bit her lip, closing her eyes to block out the unusual and somewhat unpleasant feeling of bones and flesh twisting back into their proper places, heaving unsteadily, taking a moment to rest face down in the snow before she forced herself back to her feet, brushing herself off. Things had gone as she expected they would, she found the Warden, and while he had no useful information for her, he wanted to join, and she had given him directions back. Next she found the mercenary group in the Storm Coast, hiring the Chargers when she found out that it wouldn’t come from her own pocket. Not that they weren’t worth it – they definitely were, only that there was a sense of certainty that she couldn’t personally afford them. Of course, both places were far off, and she had no expectation of seeing Blackwall for another day, at minimum, and even as small a group as the Chargers were, moving even a modest force from the Storm Coast to Haven would require a few days’ worth of coordinated effort, assuming there were no interruptions, and if there were it could easily be a week before she’d see them.

There would be questions about how she managed to accomplish both tasks in such a short time, and she wasn’t ready to explain it just yet. For now, she concerned herself with coming up with the most outlandish story she could think of in the hopes they’d give up on pressing for details on the specifics. Once the discomfort had fully worn away, she still wasn’t quite ready to return, recalling a small building not far off the edge of the village, likely belonging to the one called Master Taigen, the owner of the notes she had found and returned previously. It was abandoned, or perhaps not, but no one had gone in or come out in the time she had been here. It was possible she should be expecting company, but why not see how clever he really was. Her idea would give her a chance to see just how well informed the ‘important’ people were. Elsine came into view of the gates, waving the attention of one of the guards to her, just the one, it had to be that way.

“Thought I’d make it known I’ve returned. I’m going to walk a little longer.” She said.

The guard nodded once, and she turned again, making her way towards the small home. It wasn’t a great distance, not more than a few minutes of walking just beyond the outskirts. When she arrived, she quietly opened the door, peering in, always aware of her surroundings on the off chance of an ambush. As expected, there was no one, the room dark, she sought out a few candles, gently brushing her fingers to the wicks to light them. Elsine busied herself with looking around, wondering what leftover goodies might be hiding, peering into cabinets and drawers, scrounging up a decent size cache of drinks that, aside from being a little dusty, otherwise appeared to be fine. There were scatterings of plants that she neither needed, nor cared enough to take, books that held no interest to her and unsurprisingly, no place to sit aside from the one bed in the corner. Instead, she sat on the floor with her back to the wall, grabbing a bottle, wiping it off. As she cracked it open, she could hear the sound of someone walking just outside, paying it no mind until the door opened. Cullen stuck his head in curiously, a flash of red catching his notice, though she was bent low as if examining something.

“I had a feeling this was where you’d be.” He sighed.

“Not many places out here to go, not a difficult guess.” She said.

Elsine gestured to the floor across from her, though she offered no explanation, he lowered himself down across from her, reaching for a bottle after a moment. She held back a laugh, a fair enough signal that he was already ill at ease, looking for a distraction, and he had only just arrived.

“Why here, anyway?” he questioned as though a little suspicious.

“I’m not going to bite. Unless you beg me to.” She chuckled. “I thought this more to your liking. Rumors spread quickly, it wouldn’t do for the mighty Commander to be seen coming from my room again.”

“Not just me, there’s a similar one about Josephine.” He laughed nervously, taking a drink.

It was unusual that she had put so much thought into his comfort, she hardly came across as the type who concerned herself with what others said and thought of her, and he imagined that she might similarly expect others to be fine with it.

“Tell me. Why aren’t you asleep? Every night, after others have gone to bed, the only people not standing guard to still be up are you and the elf.” She wondered.

Cullen frowned a little. “I find it hard to fall asleep. I prefer to keep busy.”

Elsine shrugged off the lie, her hand casting unusual patterns on the inside of the glass. For a time, they had simply drunk and carried on light conversation, but after a few drinks, it seemed he had loosened up some, when the topic shifted back to her.

“How did you make it back so quickly. You should have been away for at least a week?” he asked.

There it was, the question she had worked so hard to prepare for, though she had fully expected it would be Leliana who asked.

“I found a ram out here, and rode it all the way to the Coast and back.” She said, her voice completely serious.

“A ram? As far as lies go, that’s not a bad delivery, but it isn’t very believable.” He told her.

“You believe I’m lying? So what then, will you force me to tell the truth?” she asked quietly.

Cullen shook his head, though she wasn’t looking to see it, as if she would tell him that much. After everything, she wasn’t going to tell him anything after all. He reached out, loosely gripping her shoulder, pulling her forward to try and draw her to look up, or at least acknowledge that he was actually there instead of some odd conversation between herself and ‘no one in particular’. Elsine tensed under the light touch but finally turned her focus to him, unsure how to react to what he saw. Big, bright red eyes, slightly tanned skin, barely visible freckles across her cheeks, light pink lips, fuller than they had seemed. Maker, she was beautiful, starkly contrasted to the fearsome look she tried to maintain, unlike anything he had managed to vaguely picture.

“What? I don’t like that face you’re making…” she said, a tinge of concern in her words.

She didn’t know. That was the only possible explanation. Cullen glanced around the small room, standing up, he reached for her hand. Reluctantly accepting it, she allowed him to pull her up, his hand resting on the small of her back in an unfamiliar way that actually made her suspicious. Guiding her towards the dresser, he pointed to the small mirror above it, discomfort verging on panic being her response. Elsine hung her head, bringing her hand to cover it, backing away as though it had hurt her.

“Don’t look at me, I’m incomplete…” she mumbled.

He wanted to insist it wasn’t as big of a deal as she was making it out to be, but he honestly had no idea. Maybe it was something important, something that she couldn’t process being without, though why she would hide under it when she had nothing to be concerned about seemed odd.

“It’s alright, really…” he began.

It slowly became more of a strong reaction, taking the few steps back towards him, her eyes almost angry as she looked up at him. “You won’t say anything about this?”

Cullen made the mistake of staring into her eyes, almost lost in them for a time as he worked to unravel what she was trying to convey, sadness? That wasn’t right, this was more than that, it was loss, pain, very nearly grief, like that paint washing away had somehow taken a part of her with it. He knew there had to be more somewhere, perhaps stashed among her few possessions in her room, but he imagined that she wouldn’t want to risk going to get it herself if she wanted no one else to know. He placed a hand reassuringly on her shoulder, about to promise he wouldn’t, his eyes roving lower for an instant. Leaning down, he closed his eyes, finding her mouth easily, gentle at first, firmer after a moment. He pulled away quickly, the guilt appearing almost immediately, taking a step away from her in apology.

“Forgive me, I didn’t mean…” he shook his head, immediately regretting the misstep.

Elsine, too stunned to say anything right away, her arms crossing her chest like putting up a wall, though she didn’t shout, didn’t scold, there was nothing but the sweep of her tongue across her lips.

“I…am more than willing to forget, on account that I…need a favor.” She mumbled.

Cullen scraped at the back of his neck. “Anything, name it.”

“In my room is a leather pouch. I keep it in there, I…would rather not be seen like this.” She said.

He could fill in the blanks, he wasn’t meant to see, but now that he had, she felt like there was little choice but trust him one more time to not share what he saw, to go into her room, into her things and to bring back something she considered important. If nothing else, he could do that much for her, making a mental note to avoid drinking, if only to ensure a repeat of this would never happen. Unwilling to look back, he quickly left, and she sighed to herself, wondering if he actually meant to come back. Taking the time to examine the bottles, she frowned a little, a closer look at the labels, the writing almost so faded it was hard to read, ‘l’eau calme’. Elsine palmed her face, her eyes rolling slightly.

“Calm water…” she mused quietly.

Nothing more than a concoction of plants and water, something she had seen in Orlais before, a type of drink meant to help the imbiber relax and, eventually get to sleep. Her fingers paused on her lips, staring at the door in thought, if there was no alcohol, then…?


	9. The Mysterious Mages

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Passing time until they reach Redcliffe.

“I’m surprised you wanted to leave so early…” Cassandra mumbled, scratching her head sleepily.

“Yes, _why_ were you so insistent we leave right away?” Solas agreed, more out of curiosity than irritation.

She said nothing, an impenetrable wall, no tells, save for the slight shaking in her fingertips, a tremor that had begun imperceptibly the minute that first statement had been made. Elsine rushed to sweep it through her hair to hide the way it shook, her eyes glued to the path ahead of them, a path they had walked numerous times together, now deviating towards Redcliffe this time.

“Thought we’d be done with this nonsense faster this way.” She grunted.

“Why do you feel the mages aren’t worth your time, when you yourself are one?” Solas asked, minor annoyance in his words.

“We are not alike. Not in the ways you’re surely imagining, I’ve got little use for mages who allow themselves to be leashed in such a way. If they had truly wanted to leave, surely escape would not have been hard. It hadn’t occurred to them that they were the only real thing holding themselves back?” she huffed.

“Perhaps not everyone wanted to give others a reason to hunt them.” Solas retorted.

Compared to those few examples she had encountered in combat; they were nothing to fear. Surely in the way of sheer usefulness, the brash Templars would be the better lead, angry as she had understood it, an angry warrior surely beat a mousy mage anyday. Elsine had promised to hear them out, and she would, though she had doubts that her mind could be swayed on the matter. The concept of loyalty to others who bore the same type of weapon as another seemed strange, foreign.

“I never once said I wouldn’t reconsider my stance. I only seem particular about my allies, someday, you might discover the truth, if you bother to learn it.” She said.

“Have I not made attempts to engage you in conversation?” He countered quietly.

“Yes. But you talk of elves, of the Dalish and the ancient ones, as though I’m connected to them spiritually or something. Clear enough for you, _Hahren?”_ she muttered irritably.

Solas paused for a moment, picking up his pace to catch up to the group once more. “You know more than you let on, don’t you?”

Elsine shrugged as though she suddenly didn’t understand the question, gesturing up the path a little further. Redcliffe was slowly coming into view, not quite close enough to see the gates, but nearing it.

“I can guess at what you must think. Filthy, unwashed savages with not one ounce of knowledge between us? Do you believe we simply eat, sleep, and fuck? You know not nearly enough if that is the picture you weave. I will say this: What do you do with someone who has the capacity to be good at many things?” she said.

Solas all but scowled at the phrasing, Cassandra echoing his sentiment with a disgusted groan, shaking her head in a way that suggested disappointment. Varric, on the other hand, laughed about it, though she hadn’t failed to miss the visible signs of discomfort. It left Solas thinking about the question. Surely it was a reference to herself, and he had seen a minor example of it on at least one occasion. A mage who instead chose to wield a sword and shield, indicative of someone noticing she could do both and allowed her to study both. She was an elf living a life far different from those among alienages or among a Dalish clan, yet she was at least familiar with some of the language, though the extent could not be determined so easily, he was beginning to suspect a few things were true about her. It was obvious she enjoyed playing games, some among the number at Haven had reported her being pleasantly open, whereas others had insisted she said nothing of use, and only after confusing them to the point of giving up.

Still, the more pressing detail was that, even now, there was something she was trying to hide, that she was doing a poor enough job of. The girl who was all composure and jokes, had no clever commentary, nothing but the slight change to her breathing that told him she was struggling to conceal any sign that she was anything but focused and composed. Solas politely nudged Varric, who he had noticed, she seemed to regard fairly highly, even without knowing all that much about him. Varric rolled his eyes, but decided to make an attempt.

“Something on your mind?” he asked simply.

“Oh yes. Very much so.” She said.

“Want to get it off your chest?” Varric offered.

“Ahh, you would listen to my troubles?” She asked softly.

“If you want to talk, sure.” He said with a shrug.

“I’ve got this…” she paused, glancing over her shoulder, her mouth hidden in the ridge of furs at her shoulder. Elsine turned to face him, walking backwards, unconcerned about the path. “spot of blood right here, and I tried, but it wouldn’t come out. It’s been bothering me all morning.”

Turning back around, she smirked to herself, pleased at the silence that resulted from her remark. It quickly faded as a rift came into view, muttering under her breath, almost too hard to understand.

“Figures, one of these here. No one thinks to question why there’re so many.” She grunted.

“I believe that is what they’re expecting us to figure out. You, most of all.” Cassandra answered.

“Why should it be on me?” Elsine asked, dispatching an enemy as she spoke.

“Because you are the only one who can close them. They believe you were sent by Andraste to save them; it is only natural they would think you most capable to figure it out.” She explained.

“Does no one care what I think? Andraste is long dead, how does it make sense that your chantry thinks spirits and demons are evil, and yet it is divine providence that the very same would deliver me from harm to save the world? That seems illogical, doesn’t it?” she wondered.

“Perhaps someday you will understand.” Cassandra sighed.

“You mean to say ‘I don’t know the answer, but at some point, it will fall from the sky and strike you, just like that.’? I doubt that would happen, but as with the mages, I’m open to being proven wrong.” She said.

After a short time, she turned in a full, slow circle, scratching her head. It felt like it had ended far too fast to be the end of the demons pouring from the rift. While she was waiting to see if there were more coming, Solas pointed to her hand, then to the rift, as if to signal her to do _something_ in the realm of closing it. Raising her hand towards it, she winced slightly as every nerve in her hand registered pain at once. Taking a deep breath, she wasn’t confident that her voice would work properly while she worked to swallow down her discomfort, gesturing to the gate. Moments passed it, there was a scout who reported no one had spoken of their arrival, as if no one had even known. Elsine grinned broadly, rubbing her palms together in anticipation, her eyes gleaming as she faced them again.

“This is great, things are about to get interesting, I can feel it, can’t you just sense that stillness infecting the hustle and bustle?” she asked eagerly.

Cassandra groaned, rolling her eyes, pressing her palm to her forehead. “Maker save me; she’s actually excited about this. We could be walking right into an enemy trap, and she’s _happy_ about that.” She grumbled under her breath.

“I heard that, Seeker. Where’s your sense of adventure? Doesn’t the possibility of danger capture your interest, even a little?” She probed curiously.

“Not really. I’d like it more if this were just business as usual.” She answered.

Elsine’s cheeks puffed out for a second as though she were pouting, though the look vanished quickly. “That’s why you bore me.” She finally muttered.

 


	10. Mind and Matter

Elsine had said she was willing to change her mind about the mages. When they arrived, and the meeting had begun, she still thought the Templars were a better choice. She had only second hand stories about Tevinter and the term magister held no meaning in her mind. Even when passed a written warning, there had been no reason to change her mind, in fact, a secret meeting in a chantry was very nearly enough to make her reconsider entirely. It wasn’t until the rift inside was sealed that she started to rethink things. A cult that was interested in her and two words were enough to get her more excited than she could recall in recent memory.

“Time magic? That’s new to me. “she said.

“Careful. That sounds suspiciously like interest. You might accidentally change your mind.” Solas said with a slight chuckle.

“Oh it’s not a ‘might’. The Templars look dreadfully boring by comparison, what could be more fascinating than something that could affect everything?” she answered.

Her eyes lit up like the stars themselves were shining through, and that look had carried well into the night when they set up camp. She said no more on the matter, but none had seen her smile quite as widely as she was then, almost distracting entirely from the small signs that she was still shaken. Solas watched her in silence from the edge of the camp, trying to decide what could possibly be enough to still be on her mind, this long after they had set out from Haven. He preferred his information factual, but on occasion, even rumors had basis in truth that could be found. The morning the group had set out, he recalled hearing that the ambassador had come from her room, that she seemed in a hurry as she headed back to her office. Could it be possible that the Herald was taken with her, and that level of connection to someone was somehow frightening to her?

A private person, for the most part, she was the type who appeared to have more interest in private meetings. Perhaps tonight was a good night to make another attempt at conversing with her, since she was in such a strange mood. Instead of setting out as he usually did at night, he waited, keeping to himself until the others had long retired for the night. She was a creature of the night, given to late wanderings, though he had never bothered to investigate. Ducking outside her tent, he whispered for her, hearing what he believed might be permission to come in, too quiet to make out properly. Opening the flap, he entered, stopping just inside when he noticed what was happening. Elsine’s vivid eyes had gone white, her mouth frozen open, very slightly, parted with her gentle breathing.

“Herald!” he called sternly, but quiet, like a harsh scolding whisper.

Her fingers moved, curled around an object in her hand, her focus snapping back sharply. Staring at him, she frowned, and it all became clear in seconds. Elsine had mentioned briefly that her magic was the kind that made chantry types nervous, and indeed, if it had been Cassandra who had seen, she might have even found herself back in shackles.

“Well?” she barked.

“I’m not rushing out to tell the Seeker, am I? Explain.” He said.

Elsine stretched out, supporting her weight against her arm lazily. “I owe you no explanation. Besides, you’re smart, surely you can already understand it without a word.’

Solas crossed his arms over his chest, taking a seat, a show of stubbornness, it seemed. He wouldn’t leave unless she talked? She had played this game before, and while it was fun to see how long it would take before others gave in and left. He didn’t strike her as the type who would give up, maybe it would be more entertaining to indulge for a short time.

“Channeling spirits and demons is a simple task. I am the shaman apprentice of my clan’s augur, and no, it is not the only magic I don’t share with others.” She said.

Solas had expected a battle of patience, certain she would hold out until someone came to wake her up so they could continue the trip back.

“I see. What would happen if the spirit you call to you doesn’t want to leave, are you not concerned about possession?” he asked.

Elsine forced a short laugh. “Not at all. I’ve been taught how to disengage them, some go peacefully, rarely, they put up a struggle. That I’m still alive is proof that I have not succumbed to it, if nothing could be done, I would be dead, don’t you think?”

“What would the ambassador think of this?” he questioned, an attempt to press for information.

Elsine looked at him strangely, unsure what she had to do with anything. She remembered that Cullen had made passing mention to a rumor about her and Josephine, holding back a grin. Feigning a thoughtful expression, she shrugged a shoulder lazily.

“I’m certain she would come to shame if anyone were to learn that her lover was some kind of abomination. That wouldn’t do, I’m certain she couldn’t handle it.” She sighed, convincing in her role.

So there was truth to the rumor after all, and it had to be that relationship and the fear of any harm coming to the woman as a result of what she could do that had her shaken.

“It won’t get out through me.” He said.

For all his knowledge, he was still as easy to fool as any with the right tactics. Cassandra was the most fun to mess with, and it was for the reactions she provoked that she actually had begun to enjoy her company, a little. At the end of the day, she was unsure what to make of what had happened in the cabin, and no one would hear that from her. With one gesture, someone had made her truly feel something, mere moments of contact had shaken her when she realized what was happening. Things worked too differently from her ways, and even an ex-templar would certainly find her abilities objectionable, all the more reason to be concerned. Josephine would have been better, in some ways, but there was truly nothing there, no feelings in the pit of her stomach, no concern when she was nearby, nothing.

At least when they returned, she could set out right away to secure the mages, and she wouldn’t have to deal with these concerns while she was away. When the Breach was sealed, perhaps she would return home and forget all about the Inquisition, content to get back to a simpler system without so many nuances she was unfamiliar with.

“Are you planning on staying here all night, or am I allowed to sleep in peace?” she sighed.

Solas left without a word, except to tell her ‘good night’, wasted words, all nights were good, in her mind. When she could no longer hear his steps, she laid down, closing her eyes, though she knew, there would be no sleeping with so much running in her head.  


	11. Rush

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Returning to Haven to sort out the details, Elsine has a seperate meeting.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I probably might ruffle some feathers with this chapter, I guess.

The journey back to Haven was filled with uncomfortable silences. Elsine had wanted to keep busy, and the down time was more than a little difficult for her. Led to the war room to discuss who to pursue, she stared at the map as though trying to set it on fire with nothing but her thoughts. The truth was that she was doing her best not to look up, worried her thoughts might be obvious to all if she did. Her efforts were undone easily as her attention was called by Leliana, her eyes instinctively looking in his direction. As she thought, he was watching her, but his expression was hard to read, even for her.

“I’ve changed my mind. I want to get a closer look at the mages, I want to go meet with them.” She said.

Met immediately with a heated argument that seemed not to involve her so much as insisting there was no way it was possible to do so, no way in, let alone with forces to keep her safe. She smirked to herself, wondering if they really imagined her to be so helpless that she couldn’t protect herself.

“Enough. Find me a way in and get back to me on it. I’m going to clear my head.” She grunted.

Without waiting for permission, she strode off, keeping her head down as she exited the chantry. A million thoughts in her mind all trying to sort themselves out at once, she headed for the edge of town, taking a seat on the dock, reaching for a handful of pebbles, tossing them across the water, amusing herself with the ripples. It did nothing to stop her thinking, but it did plenty to soothe her in ways she couldn’t describe to anyone else. About to skip another, she paused, the sound of boots on wood echoing, a signal that someone had thought better of leaving her alone.

“Cullen.” She said by way of greeting.

He said nothing, and it made her curious. The man of so few words, who had a hard enough time speaking to her had nothing to say, perhaps? Glancing over her shoulder, he waved her to him, turning away, silently indicating that she should follow. That was when she figured it out, time to talk out what had happened, some kind of discreet, stammered apology to clear the air between them. Elsine sighed, standing slowly, allowing the remaining pebbles to trickle out of her palm, his path clear, back to the abandoned house. Mentally trying to prepare what she might say in response, she could settle on nothing with certainty. Closing the door when she entered, she crossed her arms, leaning against the wall, waiting for him to speak.

“Herald…” he began.

Elsine shook her head, frowning. “If we’re going to talk, I insist you use my name, I hate being called ‘Herald’”

Cullen cleared his throat, looking away from her, his hand sweeping along the back of his neck. He paced in a small circle, nervousness obvious in his mannerisms, he was concerned.

“Elsine…” he started again, the name forced on his lips as though it was uncomfortable to say. “It was wrong of me to do that, and I think there’s some tension between us, I’d like to clear it up…”

Unexpectedly well spoken, she had imagined he might struggle through what he needed to discuss. She wanted to tell him there was no need to worry about it, that it was already forgotten, but that was a lie even she couldn’t manage, he had been on her mind for days, kept her awake at night when sleep was all she wanted, and as much as she hated to admit it, she had come to terms with it, and the confusion had long since turned into something she knew nothing of. Taking a step closer, she hesitated, this was unfamiliar, and in a way, it was wrong. Her arms unfolded, and before he could register what she was doing, she had him pinned to the opposite wall, her hands hurriedly moving to his, fingers slipping between his, taking in the feel of the leather, her lips fixed on his. Cullen tensed, and she was certain he disapproved until he leaned into it, his teeth scraping and pulling her lower lip, and the sudden warmth of his tongue against hers.

Squeezing his hands, a bit tighter, her eyes closed, inadvertently giving in to him, surprising herself with just how natural it felt, feeling him pull a hand free, snaking around her waist to pull her closer, flush against him. He was full of surprises, the easily flustered commander of the Inquisition, a man she had gone from purposely teasing, to something more like a caged beast that had been carelessly freed, hungry, instinct taking full control until he regained his senses, letting her go, taking a step to the side, away from her. Elsine had once again had her world shaken in a way she could not explain, and it frightened her to know that her composure, her carefully constructed wall, was in fact, not impenetrable.

“Consider it cleared up, Commander.” She mumbled, turning to leave.

Cullen grasped her wrist, not letting her escape so easily. “I didn’t mean for this to happen again; I must seem foolish to you. I know so little of you, and…well, I guess I’ve told you a lot about myself…now that I think about it, I’m at a bit of a disadvantage here. I’m sorry…” he mumbled, unable to figure out what he was trying to say.

She grinned, that half-smile that showed her teeth. “You don’t need to apologize. I meant to do it. What’s more, I won’t apologize, I’m not sorry. If that bothers you, you’ll have plenty of time to sort things out while I’m away.”

Maker, she didn’t take long to revert back to the confident girl who couldn’t be bothered by anything. He hadn’t had the time to even imagine something like this could happen. Even if he had the time, he hadn’t really wanted anything but the work, and now, now he couldn’t be sure what he was thinking, what he wanted, and still, the work left kept him busy. So wrapped up in his own thoughts, he failed to notice she had left again, left him there to wonder what was going on. Not a quick, innocent kiss based in curiosity, this was more, this was fire, desire, need…things he imagined he didn’t have, and that lack of control had been plenty enough to cause him concern.


	12. I Used To Know You

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I rushed the pacing of this chapter a bit, but I'll admit, I hate this part, it's such a pain to put to words sometimes... I'm sorry ;3;

Elsine hadn’t been wrong. The mages _were_ the most interesting lead after all, even in her wildest imaginings, the Templars could never rival how entertaining this was proving. The group had gone, as planned, met with the magister, and, in a moment of cockiness, she called him on the trap, had indicated with perhaps too much confidence that she had known all along this was nothing but a trap. Had Dorian not insisted on coming, things might have gone worse, who could say, but he had thrown off the spell at the last moment. The two arrived at the unknown point in time alone, just the two of them, red lyrium everywhere, making the entire situation more than a bit unsafe.

“So… tell me, Tevinter. Is it true that your people use blood magic?” she asked, halting her steps just short of the door.

“I don’t, but some certainly do. Why do you ask?” he wondered, staff at the ready at all times.

“Just needed to know. You’re the only one who will remember this if we make it, right?” she continued.

“Probably. Again, why do you ask?” he questioned, increasingly suspicious.

“I’ve seen enough. I’d like to get out of here quickly, and I don’t particularly want to go back to the dungeon when I’m out.” She answered truthfully.

“Are you saying you plan to use blood magic?” he asked.

“I don’t know any. What I have planned is just as bad in the mind of some.” She said with a shrug.

“Do whatever you want, who am I to judge.” He muttered.

“If you plan to play the fool, look away.” She instructed.

Waiting until he looked away from her, she reached to her side, to a small ornament, muttering something he couldn’t say that he understood, arching in a tense stiff posture, sometime passing before anything seemed to happen. Dorian glanced to her, and he couldn’t say that anything had seemed different, except for a strange glow in her eyes, like eerie, tainted rubies, she cracked her knuckles, pushing open the door. On the other side were more enemies to face, her hands raising, large, volatile blasts of electrically charged energy sweeping them to the sides, off the bridges to the pits below. Continuing on, she decided to make a little conversation with him, unsure how else to pass the time.

“Why would a castle have such treacherous pits _inside_? That doesn’t seem like a very sound design option…” she wondered out loud.

“And the red lyrium sprouting out of everything is much better? Clearly, this whole place screams ‘faux pas’.” He answered, following up with a disgusted click of his tongue. “I don’t suppose you’d care to share what it is you’ve done, anyway?”

Elsine didn’t falter in her steps, grinning as she turned to face him while she walked, pointing her fingers up, she placed them on either side of her head. “Can’t you tell? I’m a monster.” She joked. She frowned a little, shaking her head. “Oh, come now, you know I didn’t mean that. So sensitive.” she said, though to who, he couldn’t tell. “I channeled a pride demon. Or couldn’t you tell by the energy?”

“Why a pride demon? Why not something else?” he had to ask, curious about it now.

“He was the only one who answered my call. Not sure why.” She lied, knowing her pride in her abilities was probably too hard to pass on. “One time, in training, I accidentally channeled a desire demon, let’s see… the name escapes me, but it almost led to an incident. I got it out alright, but I also got a lecture. Not supposed to summon anything too alike, or it can be a challenge to get them to let go, but what can I say, I like to live dangerously.”

“There’s a story I’d like to hear if we get out of this.” He mused quietly.

Elsine didn’t answer, peering through a door, when she heard a voice. Solas, if it wasn’t a trick, and she had to imagine if he was here, Iron Bull couldn’t be too far away.

“I’ll get the elf; why don’t you see if you can find Bull. I’ll meet you in the hall outside.” She instructed, waiting for him to leave.

When Dorian was out of view, she folded her arms, approaching the cell where the sound was coming from. Solas turned to face her, surprised that she was still alive.

“I saw you die…” he began.

“Pssh. You wish, I’m sure. I’m not about to be taken out by some subpar mage. That reminds me, you look like shit, what happened?” she asked, unlocking the door while she spoke.

“Flattering as ever, I see.” Solas grumbled. “I’m dying.”

She tilted her head to the side, getting a closer look at him. Turning to leave, she waved him to follow, meeting up with Dorian in the agreed location, Bull bearing the same strangely ill appearance. “You too, huh? Looks like the future hasn’t been kind to either of you.”

“To say nothing of your new friend.” Solas countered sarcastically.

“Bite your tongue, mage. Or better yet, shall I bite it for you?” she offered.

“Leliana’s here somewhere.” Bull stated.

Elsine swept a hand through her hair, taking a deep breath as they wandered further in, the sounds of voices a bit higher up a fine indicator that they were on the right path. Her eyes fell to her hand, flickering slightly, something she had come to associate with rift activity and the presence of demons. “Leliana isn’t the only thing here. Hope you two can still put up a half decent fight…”

“Can’t muster the energy to do it yourself?” Dorian teased.

“I’ll show you what I can manage soon enough. There’s a reason Pride demons are my least favorite to face in combat…” she said.

Halting in front of a door where the voice was the loudest, she cracked it open slowly, just enough to peek in. The spy was indeed just inside, not quite as sickly looking as the others, but it was obvious to anyone with eyes that she had been tortured. She pushed the door open as loudly as she could, to call the attention to her, ready to attack, until Leliana’s legs came up, choking the life from him with a vicious squeeze. Bending down, she grabbed the key, tossing it to Bull.

“You’re taller, and as interesting as that was, I’m sure you’d stand up to those thighs better than I would.” She stated, waiting.

“Heh…Not a fan of strong thighs I take it?” Bull asked.

“She’s fond of softer ones, I’d imagine.” Solas answered.

“I have nothing against strong thighs, just not when there’s someone that’s waiting for a taste of their teeth.” She said, urging them on.

The group easily managed to press on, demons and rifts posing a minimal threat, until they reached the door. Dorian took a close look at it. “Looks like we need some sort of key to open this. Guess we should look around.”

“Back up, pretty boy.” She instructed.

“’Pretty’? I can’t tell if that’s supposed to be a compliment or an insult…” he muttered.

Dorian took a step back, and Elsine rolled her shoulders back, flexing her wrists to loosen them up. A whip of pure, crackling energy manifested in her hand, pulled back and snapped forward with a heavy pulse of electricity, so concentrated, the very scent of the air filled with it, the thick, protected door breaking down the center.

“ _This_ is exactly why I say circle mages are no comparison. You lack imagination and hold back far too much.” She lectured, pressing deeper in.

The magister was inside, a shell of his former self, his son at his side, barely what anyone could even think to consider alive, Elsine stood tall, taking a few steps towards him, keeping his attention on her while Leliana snatched away the other man.

“Your turn.” She whispered.

She raised her hand, waving it down, the spy slitting his throat, Alexius too distraught to think clearly. Elsine quickly ordered the others to surround him with her. After a lengthy struggle, he could no longer manage the effort to keep fighting, even rifts and demons at his disposal were a temporary inconvenience. The ground shook, and a piercing sound echoed from every direction, it seemed, her attention drawn upward.

“It’s the Elder One…” Leliana murmured.

“Well, he’ll have to wait, we need to get out of here.” She grunted.

Dorian pulled her to his side, and the others left.

 “We’ll hold him off. We were never meant to survive this, if we did it would only create a paradox, there can only exist one of us at a time.” Solas explained.

“There’s that skeptical mage talk I’m becoming fond of.” She said with a laugh. “See you on the other side, elf.”

Elsine brushed her fingers over the ornament once more, freeing herself from the demon, pulled with Dorian back through the portal, dropped in the room they began in. Alexius frowned when he saw them, immediately surrendering.

“Really? That’s it…Maybe I should have stuck with the Templars after all, that was nowhere near as fascinating as I was led to believe.” She lamented.


	13. Frosted Courage

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things go wrong in Haven

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It was getting lengthy, so I decided to cut it here and save the rest of this quest for the next chapter.

With the mages at Haven now, the Breach had been successfully closed with little trouble. Elsine’s mind was occupied on other things while everyone else had busied themselves with drinking and celebrating. Now that her job was done, she imagined it was time to go home soon, and she could put all of this behind her, even the parts she had grown to like. Perhaps she had already overstayed her welcome even, and no one had the nerve to tell her, though she could picture Cassandra celebrating doubly if she did leave. The sound of screaming called her from her thoughts, noticing throngs of people rushing past her in every direction, alarm bells ringing. The sound of the Commander drew her attention, heading to follow to find out what was going on, enemy forces were coming through the mountains, more than she could count. Even several clans together might find such a massive amount of enemies to be a challenges, and she knew there would be no escaping this. A voice called out, from behind the gates, and Elsine nodded to the guard, waiting for it to open before she managed to catch a glimpse of the speaker, a young, pallid boy in a wide brimmed hat, no one she knew.

Anxious, she picked up on only one word, Templars. Everything for a time blurred in her mind, focusing back in time to notice a man that Cullen seemed to know, and another that she had never seen, the Elder One from the future, here, close enough to be a problem. So much had happened so quickly, it was impossible to process, too many things demanding her focus, retreating behind the minor safety of the gates to strategize as a dragon appeared as well, adding a layer she could have lived without. Elsine had hunted many things in her life, enjoyed the thrill of surviving a fight she had no chance of winning, reveled in battle as she was taught, but a dragon, that was something she avoided. Something she would never admit, but dragons scared her, nothing that had anything to do with Hakkon, everything to do with the primal fear it incited in the pit of her stomach, not to mention the way it made her scars ache. The one safe place for the time being was the Chantry, also the one place she disliked the most, however, this one time, she was glad for it, racing with the rest to try and determine what to do.

The door slammed behind her and she jumped at the sound, shaking her head in an attempt to regain her lost composure, to pry her thoughts to the present enough to focus. Cole was busy tending to Roderick, and Cullen, busy trying to rack his brain for any remote possibility. The Chancellor had a solution, a path that could lead them to safety, but that dragon wouldn’t stay away for long, and she knew that.

“Say we do leave; how will you get out?” Cullen wondered.

“Who said I’m making it out of this? I’m not afraid, a death this glorious is to be celebrated, so do that for me when you’re all safe.” She said with a laugh, playing off the deeply sick feeling wracking her insides.

Elsine dashed towards the door, but she stopped, turning around once more. She raised a hand as though trying to say she had just remembered something important that had slipped her mind. Taking the few steps it took to close the gap between her and the Commander, she grinned broadly, a look characteristic of her.

“I forgot somethin’…” she drawled lazily.

“What could you hav—“Cullen began, his words cut short.

Elsine stood on her toes, her fingers curling in the fur of his mantle, clenched tightly, drawing him towards her. Her lips sought his out quickly, hungrily, biting his lip gently before she let go, turning to leave once more.

“Since I don’t think I have much longer, it doesn’t hurt to tell you what I think. You sure cut an enticing form when you give orders, I almost mistook you for one of my own.” She purred.

There wasn’t time to let this get too feely, rushing out to meet her fate with her head held high, she heard the door slam again. Dorian, Solas and Blackwall had followed to join her, an unexpected event that actually made her respect them, at least a little.

“You lied to me, Herald.” Solas said offhandedly.

“You swallowed that lie so easily, too.” She countered. “So now you know the truth, it doesn’t really matter, does it?”

“I suppose not.” He admitted.

They followed down the path, scatterings of red Templars trying to slow their progress. Elsine frowned to herself, her head dropping for a moment, before allowing her hand to fall to her side, grasping the hilt of her sword, charging towards a Templar, her blade tearing through, though it got stuck partway through.

“No spirits today?” Solas questioned.

“I was wondering that myself…” Dorian added.

“Spirits? Am I missing something?” Blackwall asked.

“Not really. Though really, I’m furious, the last thing we need is a rage demon stealing control. I won’t stop at a dragon; you’d be in danger as well.” She explained with a groan.

They reached the trebuchet, Elsine immediately reaching to turn the wheel, hearing the sounds of battle all around her, nearing dangerously close until Solas stepped behind her.

“Keep going, I’ll keep them off you!” He shouted.

“Hope you find time to appreciate the view.” She mumbled.

“I’m sure I can manage a moment.” He countered jokingly.

“Hey, careful now, I’m beginning to think I’m rubbing off on you.” She said.

“Ha! I’m sure he wishes.” Dorian commented with a chuckle.

The trebuchet was ready to fire at the signal, when the dragon descended with a rush of red lyrium, and it was mere seconds before she realized she was alone again. Flames rose around her, and she saw a figure approach, worrisome at first, until she got a closer look at him, giggling madly.

“You’re it? The Elder One? I bet you’d run too if you could see your face, hideous. Did your mother cry when she looked at you?” she said between fits of laughter.

He tried to speak to her, but she couldn’t muster the effort to care, almost unable to breath with laughter. Pinned in place between him and the dragon, she was at least glad that she could laugh like this before they killed her. The thing called itself Corypheus, which only made her chuckle more, unable to take him seriously until he gripped her wrist, lifting her high off the ground. He spoke of the heavens, and a distinct lack of gods so seriously that she almost pitied him, almost, though at that moment, it was heavily outweighed by a desire to cut his head off.

“Fool, your gods may not answer, but mine do.” She corrected him.

Corypheus threw her, impacting heavily against the trebuchet with a groan of pain.

“I cannot reclaim the anchor; you have ruined it.” He told her.

“Thanks for the gift then.” She said, spitting to the side, the tang of blood in her mouth.

Corypheus and the dragon closed in on her, not him that worried her, but the visible sharp teeth, the darkened look in the eyes of the beast that frightened her, nearly impossible to hide. She glanced up at the dark skies, heaving a sigh, until she noticed the sign she was waiting for in the sky, grinning madly once more, her eyes turned to the trebuchet.

“Hey, nugnuts, I meant to tell you sooner, but I am loving your dress.” She said, kicking the crank.

Turning to watch as it descended on the mountainside, she made her escape, there departure just barely quick enough to avoid the avalanche that buried Haven.


	14. Skyhold

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm very much not happy with this, but I must have rewritten it about twenty times by now, so for the moment, it's alright.

Haven was nearly a week behind them, and it had hailed many changes. Elsine had been named Inquisitor, which she seemed to like more than ‘Herald’, though she hadn’t seemed to care one way or another about having a new title either, still insisting they use her name. She liked the location, more like home to her, and when she found the forge, it hadn’t taken her long to pepper the place in a more fitting aesthetic, the place looking more like an Avvar hold than the headquarters of the Inquisition. Most had learned that her Elven heritage played nothing into her behavior, into the way she lived, and for that reason, Josephine had taken great pains to call in favors, several copies of whatever they could find on the matter hauled in, so her, Cullen and Leliana could research the matter at their leisure and learn more.

“Wouldn’t this have come in handy back in Haven?” Leliana asked.

“We didn’t have the resources we do now.” Josephine replied flatly.

Somehow, that book had led him to lending its words serious consideration. A foolish idea that could only end badly, and one that had taken so much practice, alone, of course. There was no way he would ask _anyone_ to help with such a thing, especially when he wasn’t certain it would actually pay off. He took several deep breaths before he pushed the door open, walking purposefully up the steps, her eyes drawn to him immediately.

“Ah. Cullen, what are you— “Elsine began.

He strode over to her, refusing to answer, standing in front of her, his hand planted firmly on the wall by her head, staring down at her for a few moments. She didn’t back away, didn’t try to escape, not even a mildly irritated look on her face, instead, she fell silent, waiting patiently to see what he needed. It concerned him when she smiled, the paint making it impossible to tell if she was mocking him, or if she could somehow tell what he had come for. His insides felt like they were melting, his heard pounding faster, forced confidence ready to fall away any second. Before it had the chance to disappear, his head dropped, kissing her, his free hand nesting in her hair, fingers lightly pressing along the back of her neck. Pulling away slowly, her eyes opened, fixed on his, like she was sizing him up, a small sigh slipping as she caught her breath.

“You’re mine…” he said.

It wasn’t how he would have preferred this to go, but at the very least, it might ease her mind that he was willing to accept her how she was, though it was harder than it should have been to muster the kind of mindset it took to say as much to her. She was strong, and clever, and every time he reviewed it in his mind, it ended with her laughing it off, or slipping a way to stay one step ahead of him. Half the things she had managed so far were, after all, a result of her managing to evade and outmaneuver others, and even surviving Corypheus had been little more than a game to her, though he could tell, it had shaken her, whether she would admit it or not.

“Am I? Hm…” she finally said. Her head tipped back against the wall in thought, looking out the window absently. “So I am. The question is, can you handle me?”

There was no hint of a joke in her words, and he was unsure what exactly she was referencing. That could mean any number of things, could he deal with her personality, or perhaps if he could handle that she was in charge of everything that happened now, if that bothered him. Neither of which seemed too hard to deal with.

“I think I’ve done well so far.” He answered.

Elsine grinned, shaking her head. “You have, sure. I’m guessing you haven’t finished it, have you?”

“Finished what?” he asked.

“The book. I pay attention, I saw Josephine reading hers, and Leliana has hers on her desk up there with the birds. You have one too, don’t you?” she asked.

So she knew about it after all, there it was, now there were just more questions. “What about it?”

Elsine shook her head a bit. “Nothing. You’ll find out soon enough.”

Cullen sighed, more questions, more games, more on his mind. He leaned in again, kissing her once more, her hands resting at his sides, lightly, as though she wasn’t sure if it was alright. Surprising that there was at least one thing she wasn’t confident in, and something that came so naturally to her before, when the dynamic changed, it was like she wasn’t sure what to do now. This time, it was her who broke it, her expression serious.

“That reminds me, I need a bear. A big one. I’ll need to be gone for the rest of the day.” She told him.

“You need what? I hesitate to ask why…” he admitted.

“They’ll be coming soon. Word travels in these mountains, and it won’t be long now. I have to show them I’m no figurehead, Skyhold is full of people, and they’ll see this as a clan, I need to prove that we have the means to provide for everyone.” She explained.

“I…do you want me to send anyone with you, would that help?” his prior confidence had worn away to this now.

In truth, it was the idea of so many people coming that had him concerned. He couldn’t leave her to do it all by herself when there were people who could help her out, but also, he found himself wondering what the bear was for.

“No, well, if you can be spared, I could use your help, and it’s to your benefit to get on father’s good side. There will be time to explain everything, just… you’re going to have to trust me for now and do as I ask.”

She had fooled him a time or two before, but ultimately, she hadn’t given him a solid reason not to trust her. For that alone, he was willing to do what she said, especially if it meant not having to put green soldiers in the path of her clan. Avoiding a conflict was a good idea, not just for him, but for everyone in Skyhold.

“Alright. Just tell me what you need.” He finally agreed.

“For now, we can worry about the hunting and bear acquisition. The rest will keep until we return, and it’s not just you, Josephine and Leliana will have things to see to as well, it’s…complicated.” She admitted. Her smile widening, she reached for his hand. “You know, I’ve hunted with many men in my day, but none that I’ve belonged to. I suppose that marks the occasion for me.”

“Yes, well. This is the first time I’ve actually went hunting, so I suppose it’s special enough for me too. Please don’t make any Templar jokes, I’ve heard enough for two lifetimes.” He muttered.


	15. On The Trail

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is going to be a bit long, so I decided to split it up.

Cullen groaned as a hand shook him awake. Opening his eyes reluctantly, he tried to shrug off how tired he still was, sitting up slowly. When he felt aware enough to see who had bothered him, following a silent curse that it had  _ absolutely better be important _ , he frowned. Elsine stood at his side, her grin visible in the...Maker, it wasn’t even remotely bright out, the sun hadn’t even risen yet...palming his face, he sat there for a bit, waiting for her to say what she needed. Taking a closer look, it became obvious, so much so, he could hardly believe he had already forgotten, and yet somehow, he didn’t anticipate getting up quite so early for a simple hunting trip. Forcing himself to stand, he put his armor on, though it felt like he had only taken it off a short while ago, bending to reach for his boots, mildly surprised by the faintest touch crawling up his spine, likely her attempt to motivate him. 

 

“Yes, yes, I’m almost ready…” he mumbled. 

 

Still, she said nothing, and he might have believed she were still there had he not heard the slight creak of the ladder as she descended. A few minutes after her departure, he caught up with her just outside, not even a moment of rest before she began to walk, no indication of where they were going, silent until they had left the gate far behind. 

 

“I thought it best to get an early start. We’ve a long day ahead of us. Though this isn’t exactly early for me, I’m usually out about this time.” she said. 

 

It piqued his curiosity hearing that, wondering what possessed her, or anyone for that matter, to rise so soon in the day, a thought that was strange for him,  _ normally _ , the first out of bed. He decided not to ask, realizing she probably would opt to dance around his inquiries, and he wasn’t awake enough for that. She stopped after a time, a line of trees not far off, when she climbed up on a broad formation of rock, perching herself atop it. He looked up, though he quickly looked away. The arrangement of furs had looked otherwise fairly normal, but from his perspective, it offered a full view up to her thighs, and, while he didn’t find it objectionable, he hadn’t meant to notice. Elsine, on the other hand, it was like she knew, turning her focus to him with a wide grin, laughing audibly at the way he blushed. 

 

“Oh? That didn’t take long. Here I thought you were past all that shyness. Does the sight of my legs trouble you so much?” she teased. 

 

“It...it’s not that...oh nevermind.” he huffed. 

 

She laughed again, amused by how much fun it was to poke at him. Knowing she could provoke an even more entertaining reaction, her head tipped just the slightest bit to the side, keeping a close eye on him. “I could show you something else, if you like.” 

 

Cullen grimaced,  _ refusing _ to look her way, the warmth in his face already a good enough indicator that he was positively on fire, or close enough. That, and he had a feeling she was only saying it to taunt him, something he had come to expect, and she did not disappoint. When she fell silent for a time, he actually did look, wondering what had been the cause. Her finger raised to her lips, indicating he should be quiet also. She brought herself up, to a low crouch, her eyes narrowed. Following her gaze, he saw it, a small group of rams, hesitantly stepping out to search for food. Twisting around, her hands deftly grasping the edge of the rock, she dropped to the ground, watching, stalking, every bit mirroring the image of a predator he had imagined she would be. 

 

Elsine waved him to follow, and he certainly tried to be silent in his movements, but it was a challenge. His training had prepared him for combat, not for this, though he at least felt the need to try, he cared for her, and in his mind that meant putting in a good effort not to disappoint. The rams stirred, wary, and he heard her swear under her breath, her hands raised, a wall of ice closing around them, watching as they fell over, frozen. She shook her head with a sigh, her hand slipping down her side, pausing to raise the edge of her garment, and he once more looked away. She moved quickly, almost a blur, hovering over her catch, chipping at the ice with a dagger. Cullen made sure to look around before joining her, her eyes flitting to him for just a moment. Clearly, it was taking too long for her, tossing the dagger to the ground, her hands resting flat on the thick ice, steam rolling under her palms. 

 

“I hadn’t intended to need to do that. I need at least one to be somewhat warm…” she explained quietly. 

 

“For what?” he asked curiously. 

 

“The bear, of course.” she said casually, as though it were no big problem. “It will be far easier to bait one with a fresh kill than this.” 

 

He assumed she had some kind of plan in place, he trusted her to know what she was doing, though he didn’t particularly have a reason for it. When she had thawed them out, she retrieved the dagger, busying herself with skinning the one she deemed suitable for the task. He, on the other hand, had no idea what he was doing, and was beginning to wonder if she asked him to come with strictly for the company. 

 

“So, is there time for you to explain all this?” he questioned. 

 

Elsine shrugged, but ultimately nodded. “I suppose there is. I mentioned you needed to get on Father’s good side, yes? This will help. Even if you don’t manage to kill anything yourself, they have only to know you  _ can _ . As much as I would like to lead the conversation in regards to you, it will look better for the Inquisition as a whole if you talk with him.” 

 

It made a strange kind of sense, but there were still so many unanswered questions, namely, the bear. What could she possibly need a bear for? “You really don’t think they’d actually eat a bear?” 

 

She paused, looking at him strangely. As if recalling she wasn’t used to her lifestyle, she shook her head, not saying a thing about his woeful lack of information on the matter. “My clan holds bears as sacred, our keep has one, and if I am to show that I am capable of this, I won’t be taken seriously without that much.” 

 

“Did Leliana and Josephine at least have it easier?” he asked, half joking. 

 

“Perhaps, Josephine had to call in a favor to have an enclosure large enough brought in, as well as securing an offering of sorts. Leliana on the other hand, I asked her to make sure that no one had a chance to see her birds. They are the messengers of the Lady of the Skies, and for them to be caged is certainly not going to be received well. I understand the use, so I did not insist they be released.” she told him quietly. 

 

“That’s a lot to remember…” he sighed. 

 

“If nothing else, recall this. They are not Andrastian, and will absolutely comment on that much. To be seen as the messenger in relation to her is not going to go over well.” it sounded as though she were actually worried it would affect the outcome of things. 

 

He might even say she was nervous, if he didn’t know any better. No, that look meant the gears were turning, and she was simply trying to account for everything and plan out an effective way to counter it before it happened and had a chance of catching her off guard. It was clear she was confident everything would go the way she wanted it to, and she certainly had a way of always getting what she wanted, it seemed. 

 

“Enough talk, there’s still more to do.” she said finally. 


	16. Her Truth

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Elsine, after much questioning, reveals a truth she has kept under wraps. 
> 
> -And also, a bear!

It was midday before Elsine decided she had enough, at least as far as a feast went, her bait set out, she leaned against a tree, waiting patiently. Her attention finally fell to him, for once no smirk, serious in her expression, like she had something on her mind, with no clue of how to bring it up. It was a rare moment indeed that the girl wasn’t certain of something. 

 

“Something on your mind?” he asked. 

 

“I don’t think the Inquisition is ready for this. I don’t think  _ you’re _ ready for this.” she admitted readily. 

 

The answer sounded harsher than he anticipated, but he knew very little of what to expect, and what few tidbits she had shared hardly felt like preparation enough for what was to come. He frowned, sweeping his hand through his hair, focusing on his boots for a time. 

 

“Then why don’t you stop avoiding the subject and teach me. Tell me what you expect of me?” he sighed. 

 

“I expect you to be yourself. It has to be enough, I will only go so far as to say that there’s a reason Templars, even ex ones such as yourself aren’t welcome. I can say no more on the matter, you’re sure to see soon enough.” she stopped, her hand resting under her chin. “I won’t hold it against you if you can’t handle it. But I will say this much, my clan comes first, if it comes down to choosing the Inquisition or them...it’s always going to be them.” 

 

Another riddle? It wasn’t a pleasant thought, he didn’t want to try and imagine what could be so bad that he wouldn’t approve of, and that she had even considered she might have reason to turn against those she had lived among for months was nothing good. Pressing any harder wouldn’t break her silence on the matter, and truthfully, he was tempted to believe nothing she could do would bother him, yet there was a sliver of doubt on the matter. For now, it was too much to think about, and he was content to let the matter go for the present, if only to finish the trip and get back. He turned his attention back to her, noticing she had once more lowered herself, no attention paid to him, simply watching. Her offering was working, though now that it was near enough to see for himself, he had no idea what her plan was. It was huge, twice her size in height nearly, a beast that size was a danger. His hand fell to his sword on instinct, and the slight sound drew its attention. 

 

Elsine glanced back, her eyes widening. No time to react when the creature charged, jaws parted, ready to strike. She threw herself between him and it, and for an instant, he expected the worst. Her eyes locked with it, and she raised her hand toward it, the flashing flicker curious. Was she planning to defeat the purpose of the trip, to attempt to open a rift and swallow it away? Did she honestly feel the need to protect him in such a way that she would cancel her plans to appease her clan and go back on what she had  _ just  _ told him? Looking back, he frowned. The bear had stopped, laying down at her side, unharmed, whatever she had done making it docile. Somehow, he felt he should have expected no less, and he actually felt foolish for questioning it. 

 

She knelt in front of it like a captive might grovel for leniency, it was a strange sight. She held up the meat laid out for it, and it sniffed questioningly before grabbing it from her hands. Another reminder that they were indeed, from different worlds entirely, like he might kneel in the chantry in prayer, she spoke to the creature like it was a god, humbling herself to thank him. He had a million questions on his mind now, but he could hardly interrupt her, fairly sure she wouldn’t approve of the intrusion. After a time, she finally rose, undeterred by the snow gathered on her knees, gesturing to the bag on the ground, he moved to pick it up. So that was it, was it? Maybe it was less that she wanted his company and more that she brought him to carry it for her. Somehow, the look on her face said otherwise though, she seemed calmer, grateful, and it was confusing. 

 

It did little to ease the discomfort he felt at the presence of a bear following them. It then occurred to him that she had said ‘enclosure’ and not ‘cage’. Surely he was being paranoid, but he wondered if she meant to let him loose in Skyhold, unrestrained. 

 

“So...about the bear…” he began. 

 

She looked troubled, glancing back as though concerned it was unaware of what it was. “This isn’t really the time.” 

 

She still wasn’t going to explain after all. That wasn’t comforting, how exactly was he supposed to explain its presence in Skyhold, if he didn’t even understand it. Cullen could only hope no one was fool enough to attack it with her around, that was trouble he didn’t need. Perhaps she intended to keep it as some form of pet, no telling how that could complicate already tense matters.

 

“What did you do, back there?” he asked. 

 

She heaved a sigh, realizing he wasn’t going to let up on the questions. “I did nothing. Not this time. I’ve spent much and more time watching the behaviors of the wild, and I have learned how to act accordingly.” 

 

“This time?” he persisted. 

 

Like she was trying to evade the question, she picked up her pace, but eventually relented. “Do you remember asking how I returned so quickly from the Coast?” 

 

“Yes, but what does that have to do with this?” he questioned, assuming it was a distraction. 

 

“It was a quick trip with the Lady’s blessing. The winds were favorable, and I was guided swiftly to my destination and seen safely back home. Get it? Not a ram, a bird.” 

 

Just the kind of unclear answer he had come to expect, he wasn’t sure if she was trying to insist a bird carried her, or if she was implying she actually flew. Neither seemed likely in his mind, though being fair, he had heard stories of witches with just such abilities. She was no witch, she was a barbarian, and realistically, he knew she could wield ice and fire, but unless she had also tried to say she was a blood mage, there didn’t appear to be many other options. The absence of any kind of cut or visible wounds on her suggested that wasn’t the case either. He sighed, trying one last time for a clearer answer. 

 

“A bird took you, really?” said with an accidental dose of sarcasm. 

“How much simpler need I say it? I  _ was _ the bird. You truly believe what you have seen of circle mages is all there is? There are things you have never borne witness to out there, things you could never imagine. By the standards of these lands, I am an apostate, guided in my discovery by the very thing that horrifies the devout.” she explained. 

 

Elsine had come so close to revealing what she was trying to keep from him, and he wondered if just a little more prodding might make her spill it. Carefully, though. 

 

“And what is it you believe is so frightening to them?” he asked delicately. 

 

“You’re not going to let this go, are you?” she realized. “Under the guidance of the augur, I was held by a spirit who taught me what I know, kindly taught me how to control it. The very thing warned against here is the very thing that fostered my talents. Do I strike you as an abomination? Do you feel compelled to drive that blade through me? I won’t struggle, if only to prove I’m not someone you need to fear.” 

 

It made his stomach drop, hearing it, and yet somehow she spoke with an honesty that compelled him to withhold judgment. It surprised him to hear she would willingly let him kill her if he felt the need to. Those were certainly not the words of someone who had no control over herself. 

 

“I..no. I don’t see a need for it to come to that.” he left it at that, unsure what else to say on the matter. 

 

“Your time in Kinloch Hold...” she changed the subject. 

 

He tensed at the mention, barely managing an affirmative answer, secretly hoping she would leave it at that, they had already spoke of it as much as he cared to. Which at the time had consisted of only the fact that he had served there.

 

“Did you know it was once an Avvar hold? Built with the help of Dwarves? It occurs to me that you might like to know this now. Avvar are on friendly terms with spirits, they drive away the bad ones from our holds. When it became a circle, surely they were not aware of such a thing. With nothing keeping out the bad spirits, I’d imagine what happened was only a matter of time, really. The whispers can be enticing, hard to ignore, and it takes a great deal of willpower to resist them.” she told him. “The Grey Wardens, I believe, were given ownership of another such hold. Perhaps their blighted forms are more resilient to it.” 

 

Incidentally, he was unaware of either, It made a strange kind of sense the way she explained it. How long had there been such spirits in the circle, without anyone being any wiser? Would it really have changed anything if anyone had known, or would it only have delayed it? Now, with the Wardens largely missing, he questioned whether they experienced a similar fate. It was a mixed feeling, he hated recalling what had happened, some part of him hated the idea that she was anything like them, and yet he couldn’t hate  _ her _ . She was different, and perhaps had he known before he had the chance to get to know her, he would feel differently. In reality, he didn’t know what to think about any of it, and he knew he’d need time to decide. 


	17. The Arrival

Days had passed since the trip, and Cullen had been avoiding her, a fact which she was well aware of, though she made no move to approach him. Elsine had far more pressing matters to tend to, the yard transformed with room for a fire, at her insistence, everything arranged as well as could be hoped. Leliana had moved the birds temporarily to a place where guests were generally not allowed to go, and the bear, though it made others nervous, was housed in an open enclosure where it could wander freely. Enough time had been left for her to secure other meats, including, to the disgust of others, wyvern, gurgut and even snails. To anyone else, there time of arrival might be a mystery, but she was observant, it wouldn’t be long, all signs pointed to them showing soon. 

 

She took the time to return to her room, for the first time since her arrival, changing into something different. Furs and chainmail ditched in favor of a layer of white and black cloth wrapped around her neck, loose leather pants and boots to match, the rest, apparently covered in the same black and white paints she wore on her face. Returning to the yard, she didn’t miss the confused stares, even the occasional mildly shocked gasp. Stopping at the stairs, she perched herself on the edge, one leg hanging off, the other, supporting her balance. Her gaze fixed intently on the gate, waiting, no mind paid to those who milled about. Even the soldiers were strangely absent, Josephine, Cassandra, Cullen, all missing, Leliana, on the other hand, stood at her back, mirroring her focus. 

 

“Is that interest, or nerves?” Elsine wondered, not looking away.

 

“Interest. I intend to be here to greet them with you.” she said. 

 

Elsine smiled, a faint trace. “I knew there was a reason I liked you.” 

 

Conversation fell by the wayside at the presence of people at the gates. She lofted a brow in surprise. More than she had thought might show, but it wasn’t a problem, she had prepared for this, and Josephine, wherever she had gotten to, had managed to secure gifts for them on behalf of the Inquisition, all things she had said would be seen favorably in their eyes. Planting her hands on the stone, she pushed herself off, landing quickly on the ground, unbothered by the slight height of the drop. She strode to the gate to meet them just inside, a tall man, muscular, even among the avvar, his hair long, almost golden, fixed braids at either side of his face, with piercing, grey eyes arrived first, nearly black marks painted along his chest and shoulders, the first through. 

 

Elsine knelt before him, and her words were spoken with deep reverence, respectful. “It is a blessing to see your safe arrival, Thane.” 

 

He scanned the yard before answering, nudging her shoulder. “This is yours? You’ve done well, lass. Now get up.” 

 

At his word, she rose, stepping back to let them in, all stopping once more, attention fixed on the bear, glancing up from a hunk of meat. Another man slapped her back appreciatively, hard enough to send a normal person face first to the ground, though it hardly seemed to bother her, barely moved by such a gesture, though by comparison, Leliana could see she was smaller, not nearly as broad, though all accounts said she was just as tough. When they had all had a chance to scour the yard, she brought their attention to Leliana finally. 

“This is my spymaster, Leliana. She is perhaps among the best I’ve seen.” she introduced. 

 

At least that much, she had learned from the text, it had to appear as if she was running the show completely, and that meant, at least for the duration of their stay, whether they liked it or not, everything was hers, the people, the things, all of it belonged to her. It was actually mildly impressive to see her shift from her usually playful demeanor to the kind of authority they had been hoping her to be this whole time, and so quickly. Josephine rushed out finally, gifts in hand, looking to Elsine for guidance on the matter. She tilted her head towards the man she had called Thane, her fingers raising just slightly to accompany the gesture. 

 

“My ambassador, Josephine. She has brought gifts, if it pleases you to accept them.” she said. 

 

She held them out in offering, and the man spared her a glance, taking them, before matching the girls gesture with a nod of his own, yet another man handing her bags, the contents unidentifiable to her, before still another passed something to the Thane, who held it out for Elsine, a fine bow, heavy, ornate. It was impressive to her, and yet she simply nodded her thanks. There was time for other introductions later, instead, gathering them around the now prepared fire, gesturing to those she had left in charge of the food, only after very thorough and explicit instruction on how to cook it properly. She remained standing, where the rest sat, preparing to do just that, when she felt a hand around her waist, looking only long enough to see who it was, honestly, the last face she expected to see. 

 

“Who is this one, Elsine?” The man only addressed as Thane asked. 

 

His eyes narrowed suspiciously, glancing between the two, and the girl prepared to speak, to tell him his precise function in this place, when he spoke up, surprisingly, no trace of that discomfort or shyness that normally tainted his stammered, apology laced statements. 

 

“Cullen, I run the military.” he said. 

 

“A bold man, a lowlander with the nerve to touch my daughter in such an manner, in front of the man who could end him so easily.” a thinly veiled threat. 

 

“She belongs to me, and I will hear nothing said against it.” he told him. 

 

For a moment, she thought for sure this was the start of an altercation, staring at him in the same familiar way as the beast who stalked its prey, ready to strike. Instead, he leaned back, crossing his arms with a throaty chuckle. “Ha! Well, if that’s how you feel, lad…” he paused, arms falling to rest along his knees. “I intend to see you back that up before I leave.”

 

Again, he stopped, this time, looking to her. “See, the Thane of Icehold heard about you, spoke to the elders. Wants to make you his bride. This  _ boy _ o’ yours, he holds his end up, proves himself, I might consider refusing his offer. A lotta work involved in stayin’ in good standing with that clan if I do that.” 

 

Cullen looked to her for a moment, half expecting to see her, outraged at being treated like she were little more than a prized horse to be traded off, instead, she simply smiled, nodding. “I understand, of course. Should he wish to, I am content to leave the outcome to the Lady.” 

His focus shifted off her once more, to him again. “Don’t think I can’t see what you are, boy. I trust she warned you. What say you? Will you stand up for that you claim so readily as yours, or will you back down, like the frightened chantry mouse I take you for?” 

 

Cullen tightened his grip on her waist. He had barely managed to come to grips with what she had told him, she mentioned nothing of facing any test relating to their relationship, still new enough that he hadn’t said anything of it to anyone else, save this man yet. He had said just the right thing to spur him on, the insulting way he spoke burning in his chest. 

 

“I  _ will _ stand up for her. I’ve told you my feelings on the matter, and I’m willing to back it up however you see fit.” he growled. 

 

Another chuckle. He gave in finally, though he didn’t tear his eyes away. “Thane Kellen Wolf-Crusher.” 

 

An introduction, that was unexpected, and quicker than she imagined he might. A sign of, albeit grudging, respect. “You realize you’re asking for my daughter, a prize among our clan, when I can see, you haven’t even scratched the surface. Perhaps she’ll be kind to you and explain later what you’ve just  _ volunteered _ for.” 

 

The food arrived finally, and a hesitant gathering of her advisors, and some brave few others, sat down among them, willing to give matters a chance. Kellen looked away for a moment, gesturing to her.

 

“Come, tonight, you sit at my side. It’s past time for us to catch up, lass. “ he pointed across from himself, between two men, both tall and imposing. “Tomorrow, there will be time for us to speak, tonight, I have much to hear.” 

 

Cullen took the indicated spot to sit. He had to wonder if that was what she meant by getting on his good side. That he intended to speak with him alone was a frightening prospect, and one he was more than a little concerned about. Perhaps he could at least hope for more straightforward answers than she was likely to give. 


	18. Her Desire, His Command

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Inquisitor proves to be a challenge Cullen can't overcome.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Art by Lukas Alanson on facebook :D

Cullen stood across from her, unsure what to think, what to say, none of it made sense.

 

“The man you call father tells you he’s considering marrying you off, and you don’t bat an eyelash?” he wondered.

 

“That’s not how it works, and I suspect you know that.” he had to have struck a cord, her accent far stronger than normal. “I don’t want to marry Aodh Rock-Fist. The man is a fool, and if I could have refused, I would have. You’re a fool too, dense as a stone, can’t tell when a lass fancies you, Korth as my witness, I’ve been eyeing you since we met and you barely noticed.”

 

Worded like that, he felt strangely. He had thought it all in his head at first, the lingering glances across the war room table, only for her to look away when she noticed he was looking, the signs were there the whole time, and it took Corypheus destroying Haven for him to even have a slight clue of how she actually felt about him. He sighed, sweeping a hand along his neck, unsure what to say. Of course she didn’t want to marry him, she probably didn’t even know him all that well, enough to know she didn’t like him, that much was clear. Now that things had calmed down some, he wondered what had possessed him to say such things to him, about his daughter no less. Maker’s breath, they hadn’t done more than kiss, and he had the feeling that wasn’t the impression the Thane had got from the situation.

 

“What am I supposed to do now?” he asked.

 

“Could be anything, I suppose. He wants to know that you’re capable, could be he means to have you hunt, could be he wants you to fight, could ask you to race one of my clan up a cliff, depends on what the gods see fit.” she said.

 

It was a vague answer, one he didn’t exactly feel alright with. Details were what he needed. He put his hand to rest on her shoulder, trying to direct her attention to him.

 

“No games, Elsine, what usually happens?” he questioned.

 

She frowned slightly. “You truly want to know? Bare in mind, I’ve never had it happen, but I’ve seen it done. The one making the claim is supposed to sneak in, kidnap the intended and get out without being caught. Gods save the man who gets caught.”

 

“What happens?” he wondered.

 

“First time, it’s a beating. You get caught after that, and...it’s bad, lucky to live through it.” she sighed.

 

It wasn’t as clear as he would have liked, but he didn’t need specifics to know this wasn’t going to be as simple as explaining to the man that he really fancied her and wanted his blessing to continue to see her. On the other hand, if that was indeed what would be expected of him, he knew just the person to go to for help. Kellen himself had said there were ways around the arrangement intended, and he had just such a way around her clan’s ways. It required a rather substantial favor, but it could go off without a hitch, if he played it smart. He didn’t enjoy the idea of matters between them being so public so quickly, accounting for how new the relationship still was, but he was damned if he was alright with the idea of her being married off against her wishes.

 

“Alright. If that’s what he asks, don’t worry. I can pull it off…” he assured her.

 

“You?” she asked, looking him over. He made enough noise in that armor to wake the dead at times, how he intended to pull off wresting her from her room and out of the keep successfully was a mystery. He looked convinced, however, and she couldn’t help but believe him. “You could really do it, couldn’t you?”

 

Cullen smiled, the usual soft, gentle smile she had come to enjoy from him. His finger came to rest under her chin, raising her head up, bending to kiss her gently. It took her completely by surprise to find her arms circling his neck, trying to keep him close for just a little while longer.

 

“For you, I could do anything.” he sighed, pulling away slowly.

 

He said that, and he had, at least so far, backed it up. She knew her revelation wasn’t easy for him to swallow, and yet, even though she could sense it bothered him, he had come back to her, stood up for her in front of her clan, and even without knowing for sure that he truly wanted her at his side, insisted on proving his worth. Nothing at all that she had expected of him, and in some ways, it made her respect him a bit more. For now, there was no need to explain further, he was only asking for the right to be with her, after all. If one day he decided it should be more serious, that would be the hard part. She had a feeling he wouldn’t be content with their way, a reflection of the impermanent nature of the world. Sure, he might actually manage to convince the Thane to subvert the natural way of things, but that was a task he might never consider.

 

“Can you at least explain the bear, now?” he asked, pulling her from her thoughts.

 

“A hold keeps a sacred beast. Somewhere between family and a god, but not quite either. We give them offerings, they live among us, and they are allowed to come and go as they please, to hunt for themselves, and live as they wish. Our clan holds bears, it has been that way as long as any recall.” she finally told him.

 

Not a pet at all, he had been wrong in the assumption. At the very least, the reason it wasn’t caged made some kind of sense. The Avvar had seemed rather taken with the beast, and already, at least twice, he had seen them speak to it and offer it food, to which it accepted. He had yet to watch it leave, however. Her explanation on the trip led him to believe it might prefer to hunt during the morning or early afternoon, but he was no expert on bears anyway.

 

“It all makes sense now. I had thought it was strange to see so many gathering around it.” he admitted.

 

“At least for me, it’s nothing new. Now…” she paused. “Are you going to keep talking, or are you going to come here again…”

 

Her hands curled at his sides in emphasis, drawing him back once more. As much as he wanted to know more, he knew she would answer no more questions, and he gave in readily, his hand threading in her hair, pulling her in again. For just a moment, he found himself wondering again what exactly it was that he was getting himself into, though it quickly passed from his mind, all conscious thought melting away.


	19. Sneaking Away

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cullen has to figure out how to sneak Elsine away without being noticed...

Cullen palmed his face, time was running out until he had to act, and he was convinced he had missed something. He had the chance to speak with Thane Wolf-Crusher as he had indicated he would, and the part Elsine had failed to tell him was that she was allowed to help if she chose to. Unfortunately, she gave no sign that she was planning to offer even a little assistance. At the very least, between Josephine and Leliana, he had managed the things he needed for the only idea he had. He glanced out the door quickly before he closed it, frowning deeply at the contents spread across his desk. Maker, he must be more serious about her than he thought to do something like this.

 

* * *

 

Cole walked into her room, watching her quietly. Elsine carefully eyed the contents of the flask she held, freshly mixed up, it should be especially potent. How much did she like him to offer to do this much?   
If it were anyone else, she might have even actively resisted, within reason. She had plenty of opportunities to see just what Cole could do, and if anyone could get this job done, it was certainly him. She held it out, and he took it carefully, though he said nothing.

 

“You’re sure you can sneak it in without being seen?” she asked.

 

He nodded slowly, a small, almost fragile smile spreading on his face. In the blink of an eye, he had vanished. If she had timed it right, it should take effect well before Cullen arrived, All that was left for her was the finishing touches, if her main plan failed, there was always a back up. Taking a deep breath, she let herself fall back into bed, perhaps she had taken it a bit literally.

 

* * *

 

He arrived at her door, grateful that the hall was empty, late enough that nearly everyone in the halls had gone to sleep. It was enough that she would see him like this, unlike her, he wasn’t accustomed to the cold enough to ignore the unwelcome breeze on his bared skin. His arms and chest rose with goosebumps, picking up his pace up the steps, her room marginally warmer. Cullen slowed as he neared her bed, swallowing nervously. This was not a place he should be close to, not yet, it felt almost forbidden, especially with how relaxed she looked. Her vivid eyes were closed, one arm draped lazily under her head, the other across her waist. It would be forgivable to assume she was actually asleep, had she not acknowledged his presence with a small grin and his name murmured breathily as though relieved he had actually shown up. He frowned, trying best to decide how to carry her, he had to be as efficient as possible, there was only a small window in which they would be distracted, according to the reports he had asked for. Skyhold was always on a constant watch, guards around the clock, and for that reason, he had asked that they keep an eye on what they did, finding a small consistency in the time when they were just a bit relaxed.

 

Bending to meet her, his arms circled her waist, pulling her up. His face felt hot, and he knew he must be blushing, and it only intensified with the torturous way she brought her legs to rest around his hips. Questioning it was pointless, he’d never get a straight answer from her. He slipped out of the room with her, painfully aware of everything at that point, her eyes locked on his, the warmth of her breath breaking on his throat, and _every_ _single slight twitch she made_. She had to know she was one big distraction to him at that moment.

 

“You look good…” she cooed, her words soft, almost playful.

 

Well, at least she didn’t disapprove of the lengths he went to in his efforts to blend in better. From head to waist, smeared in paints, though surely not the exact way it was supposed to be, loose leathers and furs his only protection against the cold, and a deep concern about being without the protection of the armor he preferred to wear. Peering out the door into the yard, she grinned, and he _knew_ she was up to something. Cullen finally looked away, staring down at her, brow raised suspiciously.

 

“Go ahead. Head for the gates, they won’t stop you.” she said quietly.

 

“Elsine...what did you do?” he questioned, a bit concerned.

“You thought I wouldn’t help? They like a good drink. I mixed up a little something to help them sleep. They will wake soon enough, however. I’d recommend we get going.” she urged.

 

Brought back to focus by her words, he gripped her tighter, crossing the yard as quickly and quietly as he could manage, two guards posted by the gate nodding to him as he snuck through.

 

“Any ideas on where to go?” he wondered.

 

“Down the path, there’s a small cave. I think they use it to run supplies to patrolling scouts.” she said.

 

Despite how calm she seemed, he was concerned if he didn’t keep moving, any minute someone would materialize behind them, and he would be in a lot of trouble. What happened when they woke up? Would they come searching for her, or would they check the keep and leave it at that? He had no idea what the finer details involved. She nodded her head when the cave came into view, deviating from the path to hide out. There were indeed piles of supplies lining the back wall, which he promptly searched for something warm after he set her down. Unsure how long they would have to be there, he laid out a bedroll, not as comfortable as his own bed, but it was a bit of warmth and padding between himself and the cold stone.

 

“Hey, how--” he stopped, watching her.

 

She stood at the entrance of the cave her hands moving slowly in front of her, a barrier closing off the mouth of the cave. As if she didn’t notice him, she set about to breaking empty crates, piling them up. Utterly focused, her hand passed over it, roaring into a small, but cozy fire. When she looked to him next, she moved to sit beside him, leaning back on her elbows.

 

“Should get comfortable. I imagine we’ll be here until morning, at least.” she told him.

 

Hearing that concerned him a little. It was one thing being in her room, by her bed for a short time. Several hours alone with her, the idea was both nerve wracking, and a little bit exciting. It wasn’t assuming that she felt the same way, or if that had even crossed her mind, but it certainly hadn’t left his, even where he tried to focus on other things. His eyes weren’t cooperating, and she wasn’t helping, a soft chuckle followed by the slow, teasing way she drew her knee up,her way of acknowledging it and rubbing it in. How long was a man expected to resist before it was reasonable to act? Whatever the limit was, he had just reached it, and was in no mood to take her torment well anymore. He grasped her ankles firmly, drawing her closer, bending down, finding her lips quickly, to her surprise. If it had gone his way, he had planned to wait until there was a lull in their duties, imagining it to be a slow, gentle, drawn out affair. This was pure impulse, and he had no plan for this, though maybe he didn’t have to worry, he still had plenty of practice ignoring his urges, this shouldn’t be as hard as it was becoming.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> NSFW warning. Next chapter is smut. Just saying.


	20. Broken Limits

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What happens when enough is too much?

Regaining some sense of composure, Cullen quickly pulled away from her. He licked his lips nervously, sitting back up, facing away from her. Far from being put off, Elsine laughed quietly, putting an arm behind her head, watching his back with a smile. Drawing her legs up one at a time, she tugged her boots off, tossing them near the fire to dry, her bare legs drawing his attention, though he didn’t mean to look at all. Her legs were long, lithe, but well muscled, the furred skirt she wore covering much less than they seemed to before, her thighs on full display. He had worked very hard to not notice such things, regardless of their relationship, it hadn’t felt appropriate to look at her in that way, all the more challenging when it felt like she intentionally tried to provoke him to action at times. Though, they  _ were _ a fair distance from Skyhold, and he doubted anyone save for the guards posted around were awake, outside patrols wouldn’t start for a time, it wasn’t like they’d be interrupted. No, still, it was hardly the time or place for that sort of thing. He glanced back, his eyes accidentally wandering again, realizing for what felt like the first time that she wasn’t covered from the waist up, save for her neck and wrists. The only thing keeping her modesty being the paint. Against his wishes, his gaze lingered on her breasts for a moment, then lower, taking in the lines of slight muscle along her stomach, and the curves of her hips. 

 

“Like what you see?” she asked with a smirk, twisting slightly towards him. 

 

Maker’s breath, she was too much. It was like she could see everything he was thinking, knew his resolve was weakening by the second and was chipping away at it on purpose. He swallowed hard, glancing at her thighs once more, so much exposed of them that he wondered if she even wore anything under. Palming his face, he squeezed his legs tightly together, trying to ignore the growing pressure between them. He closed his eyes, thinking of anything that might stave it off. 

 

“You know I do. It isn’t necessary to ask…” he sighed. 

 

She reached for his hand, holding it loosely, feeling her lips against the palm, along his fingers. Cringing visibly, he felt a sudden wet warmth around it, looking long enough to see her lips pressed around his fingertips. He sighed quietly, a shiver racing down his back, a small sense of relief washing over him when she let go. Leaning back again, her eyes fixed on his, her lips curling into an almost wicked grin.

 

“Red is a good color on you.” she teased. 

 

It felt like something inside him snapped loose, leaning over her, almost glaring down at her. He bent low, crushing her lips with the force of his kiss, his tongue slipping past, sweeping against hers, around her mouth before he pulled back, nipping and pulling. Elsine groaned softly her fingers curling against the thin bedroll. Parting from her, he huffed uncomfortably, shaking his head slowly, trying again to think of absolutely anything but the way she looked. 

 

“Stop. I’m barely keeping it together here...if this isn’t something you want, I’m begging you...stop…” he muttered with a frustrated sigh. 

 

“You really are dense. I’m  _ trying _ to get you to stop holding back. If I minded, I wouldn’t have started to begin with.” she said. 

 

It took a minute for her words to sink in fully, and when they had, he finally turned to face her properly. Elsine drew a leg up lazily, tipping her head curiously, her hair shifting to the side, her neck on full display. He had never found much appeal in that particular part of the body before, but here, now, he had never been more tempted. He leaned in, his breath warm against her skin, her hand threading in his hair, drawing him closer with ease, planting soft kisses along the curve of her neck, biting gently at first, then harder. His hand fell to rest on her hip, dipping under the garment, slowly pushing it up, bunching at her waist. His fingers slowly explored her hip, down to her knee, back up, along her thigh. Even painted as it was, her skin felt smooth, warm to the touch, drawn between her legs. As warm as she felt, it was hot here, slippery, and by the sounds she made, it felt good. She raised to his touch, pressing in easily, though he found more enjoyment from watching her expression. The way her eyelids fluttered shut, how she bit her lip, and the way her chest rose and fell with her breathing, all of it was exciting in a way that was new to him. Her legs trembled, drawing his attention to them once more. Bending low, his left hand came to rest under her knee, holding it firmly, lips pressed to the side of her knee, following a steady path along her thigh, biting gently as he went. There was no teasing, no smart comments for him, a good sign that she was too involved to say a word. Cullen felt his face warming, a small hint of embarrassment verging on shame reaching him in no small part thanks to the thoughts that crossed his mind. He groaned in frustration, pulling his hand free, pulling away just a bit, the uncomfortable tightness of his pants fresh on his mind. He loosened the strings lacing the front, loosened enough to slip down his hips, pushing them down further. Tossing them to the side, her voice called him back. 

 

“Now who’s teasing? Like to see you out of armor more often, I think.” she purred. 

 

He had a nice figure, strong, and yet not too much, enough to put plenty of indecent things in her mind, all of which she intended to save for later. She was already going to get her way, no point in telling him now, best saved for a time when he was working far too hard, the perfect thing to derail his focus. The faint light of the sunrise, and the flickering fire cast attractive shadows along her form, though it did nothing to hide the signs that she was just as aroused as he was. Waiting was now the furthest thing from his mind, stretching over her, streaks of paint smearing between them. He slid an arm under her, keeping her close, her legs parting drawing around his waist. He bit her lower lip gently, turning into a deep kiss, swallowing his groan like water when he pressed against her. Hers was a soft whimpering moan that had him concerned, about to pull away again, her legs locking around him, keeping him close. She lifted to him, her hips rocking counter to him, almost a sort of dance meant for him, setting into a slow, steady pace. The way her body gripped him better than he had imagined it might feel, 

 

She reached up, grasping his shoulders, her nails biting in slightly, legs falling to wrap around his. He broke the kiss long enough to catch his breath, watching the way her head tilted back. Taking advantage of her exposed throat, he nibbled up and back down, her skin slightly salty, smelling faintly of embrium, Perhaps this moment was inevitable, as much as he had struggled not to, if he was being honest with himself, he had noticed her from the beginning. He hadn’t quite realized she would become this meaningful to him, but he had  _ definitely _ noticed her. Maybe it was enough of a feat that he had resisted giving in to his urges for this long. Her body shifted faster in his grip, the easy pace he had set replaced with a faster rhythm, thumping against her harder, every heavy pant she offered felt against his lips, vibrating in her throat. Her skin prickled in goosebumps, beads of sweat rolling down her spine, her tightly controlled composure slipping steadily with every passing second. 

 

He drew his head back, nipping her earlobe insistently, his breath inciting shivers through her. Her hands wandered, the warmth of her palms absent from his shoulders, a swirling, shifting mix of icy and nearly scorching energy dwelling in her fingertips, across his chest, down his stomach, stopping at his sides. He cursed her awareness, realizing far too late what was happening, however clever it was. It had nearly slipped his mind that she was still a mage, and she was employing a faint use of magic in absolutely the wrong way, although it certainly didn’t  _ feel _ wrong. Shuddering from the strange sensations, her fingers found his spine, and he was mildly concerned, perhaps needlessly, the tingling shocks pleasant, sliding down his back, his hips bucking hard. She groaned, sucking in a sharp breath, tightly tensed through and through, clenched around him. Lost completely in a world of her own, he could feel the slow, steady relaxation flooding through her, that and the rush of warmth he felt had painted the entire picture for him. 

 

Despite that, she worked hard to keep pace with him, he felt the first tingling pulses that told him he wouldn’t hold on much longer. She freed her legs from around his, drawn up at the knees, pressed against his sides, leaning on her fully, his hands falling to rest on her hips,  pulling her to him faster. Spots swam before his eyes, burying his mouth against her neck to muffle his heavy gasping breaths. He squeezed her hips firmly, the only warning he could offer, the rapid rhythm he set slowing again, his body trembling. Her hands stilled at his chest, sweeping through the thin sheen of sweat gathered on his skin, amber eyes closing slowly, the crushing pressure of his arousal replaced entirely with a rush of relief. Cullen was eager to rest up for a bit, though curiosity compelled him to look once more. Pulling from her, her glanced down, a bared streak down her chest and stomach where the paint had worn completely away, sweeping streaks graced her hips, and parts of her face were visible, the light freckling on her cheeks stealing his focus. He remembered the way she looked vividly, the intimidating war paint a mask for the very nearly innocent expression she wore underneath. He recalled the sun kissed tone of her skin, the soft freckles dusting her cheeks, big, red eyes that softened when she looked at him, and her light, full lips, parted slightly. This was the closest he had come to seeing that look again since that time, and it made him smile. As if she could read the meaning behind it, she frowned slightly, turning away from his gaze. 

 

“Don’t get too used to it.” she huffed. 

 

A rare chance for him to tease her had shown itself, and he was certainly going to take advantage of it, a certain appeal to the pouty way she reacted when someone got in a jab at her. 

 

“It bothers you? Hmm...good to know. Too bad I’ll never forget it.” he said with a grin. 

“ Bheir mi thu gu crìch …” she muttered. 

 

He didn’t need to ask what she meant to know it was a threat. What it meant, he couldn’t say, but the intent was perfectly clear in her tone. Instead of being bothered by it, he chuckled, brushing a soft kiss on her lips, fingers slipping through her hair slowly. 

 

“Alright, you win. I won’t tell you how beautiful you are.” he said with a grin.

 

She shrugged at his statement, a light blush rising to her cheeks despite the stern look she wore. “Ignoring the fact that you just did...you could have told me any time before now.” 

 

Cullen suspected that she got a bit prickly when she was embarrassed. If so, that was...actually kind of adorable. Probably best kept to himself, however. Elsine straightened her furs back in place, sparing a glance outside the barrier, deciding it was still too early. She stretched lazily, rolling onto her stomach, her head resting on her arms. 

 

“Time for a nap still, if you want.” she said, her words muffled. 

 

That seemed to remind him neither had much chance to sleep, and while he could function well with minimal rest, none at all was a different story entirely. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> She essentially said 'I will end you'


	21. Facing the Thane

The short trip back to Skyhold was filled with silence. Of course Elsine could tell there was something on his mind, but she wasn’t about to pry for details, not in the least curious about what it could be. If it had to do with what was about to happen, there was nothing to be done about it, and if it had to do with what already happened, she couldn’t change it, so regret seemed pointless. If she had to guess, however, it had everything to do with whatever her father had told him when they had met privately. She didn’t care about the past, never questioning who her “real” family was, or how she came to be separated from them, or even how old she was. Not a bit of that mattered when the time she had spent with her kin was real enough for her, every struggle since making her a little stronger, a bit more resilient to the world. 

 

“Aren’t you even a little nervous?” he finally asked, breaking the silence. 

 

“He is my father, nervousness implies fear. I have no reason to fear him.” she replied casually. 

 

“Even after…?” he began, stopping. 

 

“What, you think something terrible will happen because we slept together?” she asked, chuckling to herself. 

 

Cullen reached out to her, snagging her wrist, drawing her back. He knew her games by now, and if he didn’t stop her, make her face him properly, she’d continue to dodge his concerns. He didn’t intend to give her that chance. 

 

“Elsie...was that all it was to you?” he asked quietly. 

 

Her freed hand fidgeted slightly, reaching to hold her shoulder like it suddenly hurt. Her eyes darted to the side, and a look of uncertainty flashed across her face. He wasn’t quite sure he had ever seen an expression like that from her before, it was strange for her to look anything but absolutely certain of everything she did. 

 

“The Avvar know that nothing is forever. I grew up repeating that like a mantra. If you realize that, you’ll never be disappointed...Yet...I’m quite fond of you. I think if I could have just one thing forever, it would be you.” she murmured, trailing off almost too quietly at the end. 

 

It was as if she didn’t want to admit, even to herself that there was an aspect about herself that wasn’t identical to the family she had taken for her own. They seemed not to care that she was different, believing it was, as he understood it, divine will that they take her in. Elsine was already a special case, no matter which angle it was viewed from, surely they wouldn’t fault her for having desires of her own, right? Cullen gently squeezed her hand, deciding not to say anything, having a sneaking suspicion it would only do more harm than good as far as progress went. Reluctantly, he let go of it, gesturing to the gates, truly not looking forward to whatever was going to happen. At the very least, it should definitely count, he got her out unnoticed, and kept her out well until morning, if it wasn’t enough, there was a problem. That was one mystery that wouldn’t take long to solve, it appeared. Just inside the gate stood the Thane, arms crossed, head cocked to the side as though he had been impatiently waiting, the very picture of an anxious father. At least, it had that feeling, the stony look on his face said otherwise, and yet, he almost couldn’t resist grinning over it. 

 

“Well, well...not bad for a lowlander pup. I didn’t think you had it in you, perhaps I gave you too little credit.” he said, turning his piercing gaze to her then. “Or perhaps it is instead that I gave her even less. I thought she didn’t care enough for you to help.”

 

She cringed, her fingers curling up into tense fists. She said she wasn’t nervous, and maybe he was reading it wrong, but it looked like she was after all. Elsine dropped to her knees, bowing her head briefly, an almost apologetic look on her face.

 

“I’m sorry. I care nothing for Aodh, I ask that you reconsider.” she declared firmly. 

 

His chest swelled up, hissing out a slow sigh, his arms falling to his sides. “Stand up, girl. You’ve made your feelings known, I won’t have you groveling like one of them too.” 

She glanced up for a moment before slowly rising to her feet once more. Refusing to look back at him, she kept her eyes fixed up at his. Where most would have apologized, she said nothing, waiting for something, though he didn’t know what. 

 

“Very well. I’ll find a way around it, when I return.” he said, relenting finally. 

 

“When…?” she asked curiously. 

 

“I haven’t seen you in some time. You didn’t believe I’d leave so quickly? When I am called back, I intend to leave the rest with you. I sent you away once, to the Conclave, I won’t let it be said we did nothing to help our kin.” he said. 

 

Cullen looked up, his words strange. He wasn’t sure if Leliana had already had a chance to make that inquiry, or if indeed she even knew. 

 

“Excuse me...you said you sent her?” he asked, unable to hold back. 

 

He sighed again, a short, sharp sound, turning his focus towards him. “Of course. I believe in your words, she is an apostate, does she not fit in among your mages? I sent her specifically because it was determined she was most qualified. We wanted to demonstrate that we are capable and, at times, willing to work with lowlanders. Had I known it would have turned out as it did, I may have withheld that instruction.”

 

“I see, but why her specifically? What made her more qualified than others?” he questioned. 

 

“She is an advantage. You’re not blind, you know what she is. We saw fit to have her taught. She has surely demonstrated her diplomacy for your cause. Bit stubborn about it, but she’s also been taught a bit of the elf-tongue as well. She accompanied our traders to Orzammar and Orlais, among other places, learned from what few scholars were willing to tolerate her.” he said, gesturing to her in emphasis as if it should be obvious. “The little red one asked a lot of questions too. I find it amusing that no one thought to simply ask her directly. She likes her games, but she can be made to answer seriously.” 

 

Cullen frowned at that revelation. The time before, in the tavern when she insisted if he were to ask her directly, she might tell him, that wasn’t a trick, she meant it. That explained why she was more open with him than with Leliana’s underhanded methods, or Josephine’s bribery. Maker, she had everyone fooled, was it actually possible she was far more clever than anyone had bothered to give her credit for?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The reasoning for her attending the Conclave largely came from discussions with my friend (Thanks Karee :D!)


	22. To The Victor, The Spoils

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I was planning a nice plotty update, but my friend SonyaBlackmane wanted smut, and then I wanted to write smut, and this happened. Enjoy.

Cullen sighed, sweeping his hand through his hair as he stared helplessly at the stack of reports in front of him. Elsine asked for him to go for a walk around the hold with her, entirely more qualified in some ways to catch anything his men might have missed. This was going to take all day, and he just  _ knew _ she'd be more than a little disappointed in his absence. Leliana personally asked him to look through these as soon as he could, and between her and the Inquisitor? Elsine wouldn't like hearing it, but the nightingale concerned him just a tad more. He pinched the bridge of his nose, heaving a sigh as he doubled his efforts to slog through the reading. Cullen barely made it through two before the door opened. He didn't bother looking, he could guess well enough who it was. 

 

“I'm working as fast as I can, this  _ will _ take some time if you want me to be thorough.” He said, trying not to sound as irritated as he actually was. 

 

“Being thorough is  _ exactly  _ what I want.” An all too familiar voice purred. 

 

Cullen nearly yanked apart the paper he was holding when rich red locks draped the surface of his desk. He swallowed hard, his eyes slowly leaving the words to glance up. She was grinning impishly at him, and because of that, he nearly missed the full picture. Not the usual furs and chain mail or even the increasingly common paint, fur and cloth ensemble that if not for the black sweeps across her chest would offer everyone at Skyhold an eyeful of what was  _ his _ . No, today she had changed, and he could imagine he knew both the reason and the unspoken agreement that came with it. In exchange for wearing lowlander clothes,  _ for his benefit,  _ this was likely a one time thing, and she wanted his attention  _ immediately.  _ Maker, did she ever have it, clad in leathers so tight he had to question how she got into them at all, every curve on full display. Completely covered as she was, it managed to be way more scandalous than her own attire. 

 

“Where - ah… where did you find that?” He asked. 

 

“Funny thing, there's a bunch of clothes in my wardrobe. I'd imagine someone was trying to send a message. For you, for today, I'm willing to receive it loud and clear.” She cooed in reply. 

 

What had she done to him that the first thing that came to mind was ripping it all off her like some present? She bit her lip, the painted outline of sharp teeth bared like a predator, her hand creeping slowly across the desk. He was spellbound, watching her expression, eyes fixed intently on his. She pushed the papers off the edge of the desk, pulling herself up onto it. He didn't give a ram’s ass about the reports anymore. Not with her sliding closer to him by the second, until her knees parted, falling to rest around his hips, resting lightly on his lap. He reached to cup her ass, squeezing gently, unable to hold back a quiet moan when her lips and teeth found the curve of his neck, her hands skillfully divesting him of his mantle and cloak. He tipped his head for her, tugging her against him tighter as her firm nips left nothing untouched. 

 

“So… have I managed to get your mind off work?” She whispered, tugging his earlobe lightly. 

 

He squeezed his eyes shut, scraping at the band of her breeches, frustrated that they were in his way. “Completely…” 

 

“ _ Very good… _ ”  she praised, her hands going to the vest, having opted out of the shirt that went with it, probably too annoyed by the way it felt to cover her arms. She unhooked the bottom two clasps, stopping. “Well,  _ someone's  _ eager.”

 

“Don't tease me, Elsie. Not today…” he pleaded. 

 

“Oh? Would you like me to keep going?” She asked playfully. 

 

“You know what I want. I know you do.” He mumbled. 

 

“Mm, I do. Doesn't mean I don't want to hear you say it. You managed to impress my kin.  _ Impress me. _ ” She panted. 

 

“Keep going, all of them.” He said, nodding to the metal clasps. “Don't stop.” 

 

“There ya go. You're starting to get it…” she said. 

 

She still took her sweet time, but she didn't pause for long between each one, shrugging it off when the last was done. He already knew very well she didn't like small clothes, but it was still a surprise to see nothing in the way. His hands came up, managing to touch her for just a moment before she pushed his hands away. 

 

“Not yet. I'm not finished.” She scolded. 

 

The look on her face was still the usual one, which made her direction confusing. Still, he let his hands fall to his sides until she said he could. Elsine lifted slightly from him, pulling the strings in one quick motion, wiggling out of them, her hips swaying enticingly as she did. Pulling herself onto the desk long enough to tug them off from her ankles, she slid her thighs apart enough to give him a good look before she crossed one leg over the other. 

 

“Come on, your turn.” She giggled. 

 

He stood up slowly, easing off his armor, acutely aware that it sounded much louder at that particular moment than it ever did, letting his gloves flutter down with it. He busied himself untying his pants, glad for the brief chance he got to look away, now that he finally felt like he could. His face flushed, straining against his briefs already. He kicked them off with his pants, shrugging. 

 

“This is your game, now what?” He asked. 

 

Elsine reached for his hands, hopping down easily. Turning quickly, she laid him out on the desk, crawling up. She stretched out beside him, nibbling his lip before attacking him with a kiss that was completely made of fire and lust, throwing a leg over him. She didn't let him bring her down against him, pinning his hands while she slid over his shaft, letting him feel the slick heat, but not letting him do anything about it, not yet. She rolled her hips firmly, pressing down, finally sinking down against him, whining softly at the way he slowly filled her. Cullen tested her hold, trying to pry his hands free so he could touch her, but it was becoming clear what she wanted from him. 

 

“Elsie… let me up. Let me…” he trailed off when she rolled against him, gasping.

 

“What was that? Didn't quite hear you…” she said with a smirk. 

 

Frowning, he managed to buck up to her a few times, before she shifted her weight to keep him steady. What a wicked thing, too tempting to resist, , but so torturous. 

 

“I…” he sighed “I want to touch you, please…” 

 

Elsine shook her head, slowing her steady pace. It felt like something was about to snap inside of him, something he didn't recognize. 

 

“Why don't you take what you want? I don't bite much.” She panted. 

 

Sometimes he managed to forget she was entirely different from anyone else. She was right, if he really wanted this, he had to think like her, to  _ act _ like it. That's when it struck him. It was a kind of exchange. Swapping out lives in a way. Sauntering in dressed like she did, that  _ was _ for his benefit, but she was expecting him to play the part of her kind. He'd managed everything else to win her over, surely he could do that much. Cullen jerked his hands free, gripping her hips, he lifted her off of him, to her surprise. Elsine said nothing, observing in the silent way she had. Setting her onto the floor, he hopped off the side, pulling her back to him. His hands wandered freely, lingering in some places, drawing quick, nonsensical patterns in others, biting the junction of her neck and shoulder in a way that made her arch back to him with a delighted gasp, a shiver racing down her spine. She wanted to play? He'd give her  _ exactly  _ what she wanted. Cullen pushed her gently, her hands flattening on the desk. He immediately pressed both together, tightly under one of his, the other fixed at her waist. He parted her legs with his knee, bending to cover her. 

 

“Might want to hold on… this  _ is _ what you wanted, right?” He growled against her skin.

 

Elsine liked this side of him, nodding wordlessly, though she gave a mewling cry when he nearly slammed into her, her hips thumping against the desk with every hastening thrust. She bit her lip, trying her best to stay quiet now, and he remembered that to her, this was too much like losing. Something about that made him actually  _ want  _ that. His hand left her waist, threading in her hair, curling it loosely around his hand. Her head lifted, eyes darting back over her shoulder with interest. He pulled, her head tipping back. Not too hard, he wasn't trying to hurt her, only to try and prove that there was more to him than some scared ‘chantry mouse’ after all. Elsine sucked in a sharp breath, her eyes closing slowly like she had to focus on staying silent. This was a hunt of hers, and she wasn't about to let her prey know where she was. So be it. Cullen kept his hold on her, leaning against her further, snapping against her harder, unrelenting in the faster pace he settled into. A whimper slipped, she was breaking. Trembling all over, he knew it wouldn't take much more, he'd have to make it count. His hand let up on hers, and instead of trying to once more gain the upper hand, she clutched the edge of the desk tightly. Now he could see the appeal. It was a strange kind of high having one so strong and confident as she was at his mercy. Was this what she felt? He slowed on purpose, easing up to a gentler rhythm, humming in amusement. 

 

“Be a good girl, let me hear you and I  _ might _ give you what you want.” He told her. 

 

Her nails nearly dug into the thick wooden surface, torn between the idea of admitting defeat, or doing as he asked, no -  _ demanded.  _ A rush of excitement coursed through her, the pressure heavy and uncomfortable in the pit of her stomach. His hold kept her head held high, no chance to hide behind a veil of hair and regroup. He gripped her hip firmly, pulling her back against him harder, and she caved, interrupting a search for air with a loud, eager moan. Mostly he hoped no one actually heard her, but a small part of him wanted them to, to know he had shattered all her defenses like that. 

 

“ _ Very good _ …” he praised, falling back on her line. 

 

Her face flushed, barely visible through the paint, but it made him grin. It had to be pretty bright to show through even a little. She yanked at his hold, startling him into letting go. Her intention was to regain control, this was  _ her _ game, she made the rules and  _ she _ was meant to be the victor. About the time she meant to pull away, his arms wrapped her waist, keeping her to him. He was warm, solid, and she was lost. Her head fell back against his shoulder, the last of her fight disappearing with her thoughts. Cullen found himself grateful she'd given up when she did, already dripping wet around him, he wasn't far off. Her own body helped in that, drawing him past his limits. 

 

“Mynd ymlaen, ac yna…” she sighed. 

 

He had no idea what she was saying, but the way she said it had the feel of some kind of permission to him. With that, he nudged her forward again, still holding her. He fit to her fully, keeping her to him fully, growling against the nape of her neck, and she gasped, his name finding its way off her tongue. Cullen twisted free of her, lifting her. He sat back down with a sigh, his legs nearly about to give out. Settling her across his lap, she leaned in, kissing him, this time holding none of that earlier urgency, a simple gesture. She found his ear, whispering something to him, catching him by surprise. Her father  _ had  _ said she knew a bit of the elven language, but it was the first time she used it around him. He smiled, patting her hip affectionately. 

 

* * *

 

 

Cullen walked through the door, dropping the completed stack of reports on the desk, all read and signed. It had taken much of the day, but they were finally done. 

 

“I certainly hope you had  _ fun _ .” Leliana said. 

 

“Hm?” He asked, not missing the tone she had taken. 

 

“Don't play dumb.” She told him. “I'm certain everyone in the yard  _ heard you _ . The Thane was ready to kill you, I think. Remember to thank Josie later. Had she not so suddenly managed to arrange a hunt between her clan and some of our men, you might not be here to return these.” 

 

Cullen’s face turned a deep red, swallowing the sudden lump forming in his throat. He hadn't even considered that. Maybe she had the right idea with staying quiet after all...

 


End file.
